first time

a couple of weeks ago, i received a message in the german “facebook” called “studivz”. a woman called jana left a rather common scrap on my page, asking me (and all her other friends, i imagine) to leave a memory i have about her on her page. that’s when i decided that this next post was going to be dedicated to her, and my recollections of her. after all, as you will see, it is a major memory in my life.

it was the beginning of 1990. a new era for the world, with the fall of communism and the berlin wall, only a few months ago. and it was a new era for me, too. at age 12, i had been in love a few times already. sarah dumber, still in england, then five years earlier. in germany, first michaela (summer love), then the golden three: yvonne dobert, birte brettschneider and, currently (at the time), isabel willkommen. the latter had been on the “throne” for the longest amount of time. since september 1988. and march 1990 was coming to an end.

our church had organized a bible week for kids, starting march 24. i was starting to get fed up with being in love with isabel. i think i was getting fed up with always falling in love with these girls i didn’t even knew. i mean, if i exchanged more than a sentence with any of the three “golden girls” who dominated my “love life” since 1986, it would have been a miracle. i didn’t know who plato was yet, but his “love-style” seemed to be fitting for me. but i had enough. i made a conscious decision to try to find someone knew, someone who i could actually come closer to, maybe even someone with whom i could slowly build up some sort of relationship. and this week could be a good opportunity to see what’s around, since i was also looking for someone who had a similar faith as i did.

i noticed her right away, almost in midst of these thoughts. this very white girl, seemingly vivid, new in town, very blond. she quickly made friends with someone i knew (bärchen), but i’d never seen her before. soon i was made aware that she and her family were coming from eastern germany, as many people were at the time. and she came to stay. this all started to sound very interesting. and she herself seemed to be quite unique. it didn’t take long to chase isabel away from my dreams, where the brunette had been present for not far from 2 years. jana deutsch was officially the number one on march 31, a saturday. and even more, i leaped into action, obsessed by the idea of make my intentions clear. or at least my admiration –in secret. i decided to write her a little anonymous note and put it into a pocket of her already very legendary blue and pink jacket.

the very next day (yes, april fool’s day), the phone rang during our family worship time. we never pick up at that time, but for some reason, i did. i don’t know, i was just feeling so good about myself, finally doing something. still figuring out what my next step would be before i, one day, would eventually reveal my secret identity. i still had my own private world that no one knew about, and i felt really good about it. and i picked up that phone with no second thoughts. “marcio bei witzig”, i said, as usual. “jana deutsch here”, i hear. and time seemed to stop.

to be continued.