the day before yesterday, i was there again. at the site of the place where i saw an inexpressible amount of beauty. it had been over 10 years, and it was special to walk those streets again, to see that room again.
it was that time of year again. the musikschule lüneburg held its open day, one year after the last one cited in one of the past posts. once again, i was playing with a band on the outdoor stage, but before we started, i looked for eva’s classroom (the one in the picture). up to then, i didn’t know where she studied the viola, but i found it quickly, right next to the stage. when i arrived there, only the teacher and another student were there, and some chairs for visitors to sit and watch. i sat, and waited. a nice, old, spacey room. kind of dark, but light was coming through a window, and its beam was visible on the floor.
i don’t know if you ever felt this way, but when the person you’re waiting to see finally arrives, it’s almost as if you have no clue of what to do, where to look at. that’s how i felt most of the time when i saw any of these platonic passions i’d had up to eva, and it was no different with her. when she came in, i almost felt the room becoming very small. after all, i would always watch her from a certain distance, rarely i would be in the same room she was. she seemed a little late, but was all smiles, took out her viola and positioned herself near that window. the light was shining on her dark blond hair, which always seemed reddish – now even more so. she was wearing a blue summer dress with white flowers all over it, only making her feet visible. it was, by fair, my favorite outfit, and i’d seen her use it quite a few times. her hair was perfectly “wusch” – straight, kin-length, golden, and after any movement, it would go back to its initial position in perfect fashion. and she shaked her hair quite a bit while playing. you see, eva is a really talented musician and comes from a family of musiciains – her father reinhard tüting was my brother leo’s teacher for years, and no doubt had a great musical influence on him. and her mother played instruments too, as did her older sister wiebke. but eva was something special. very talented indeed, she played the cembalo (harpsichord), all kinds of flutes and possibly some other instrument; and in addition to that, she had a beautiful voice. but her playing the viola that afternoon has been a very vivid memory since then. the beam of light on her, her movements while interpreting the piece she was rehearsing with her teacher, that dress, that hair, that music, that room… it was as if time had stood still. i almost even forgot i was in love with her; i couldn’t stop staring, looking, admiring, in an awe. this was something really special, someone really special. this is one of those rare moments of perfection. the only one i can remember without having to search my memory – i’m sure there have been others, but none has stuck to mind more than this one. i guess my heart was beating very fast at first, and then almost stopped beating, to not get in the way with what i was seeing, experiencing. and i’d never seen her as beautiful as on that day – and this of a girl i had considered to be physically perfect from a very subjective point of view.
i had to leave the room the play for the band. i was hoping that she would show up and watch – not at all to see me play the saxophone, which wasn’t anything compared to her playing the viola. but to be able to watch her for a little longer. this hunger could not be stilled, i longed to see her. but, differently than last year, she didn’t show. and although i was trying to keep my eyes at her room, right next to where we were, it seemed that she had left and i hadn’t noticed. so i played there, between the hope to still see her at least one more time that day, and the disappointment of her having left. and so it was. we played our set, i still went to the saxophone department and stayed there for a while – knowing that she had left (the open day was over), but still with that little 1% hope that she hadn’t, i talked to some friends while sometimes looking to the other side, where her room, that room, was. maybe she would still walk out.
an enormous adrenaline kick and a shock went through my body when i saw her walking out the building. have you ever felt this? no time to really process that she was, against all odds, still there – she was leaving! not even enough time to process her full beauty, that dress, that face, that hair. i said a very quick and sudden goodbye to my friends and stepped out my building. where was she? gone already? no, there she was, walking. i knew where she was going – to get her bus at am sande, the 1977 (my year of birth) to deutsch-evern. so there she was, walking down apothekenstrasse in the direction of grosse bäckerstrasse. by the way, all these locations (including her room) can be seen on http://flama4.multiply.com/photos/album/36/36. with not real control over my pace, i passed her quite quickly, at bonhorst music store. i had no courage to look back and see where she was and still was walking far too fast. when i took the right at rats-apotheke, i quickly looked back and still saw her. so now i walked slower, towards kleine bäckerstrasse. heart beating really fast, still no courage to look back. finally, when i got to perl buchhandlung, already near am sande, i went in and stopped. where was she? was she gone again? why was i so stupid? why didn’t i look back? she didn’t know who the heck i was! i went back on the street. and then i saw her.
this is another one of those very magical scenes, where time seemed to move very slowly. she was very near, and my natural reaction would be to look away and walk. but i simply couldn’t. i froze and just watched her, and these images are still in my head, in the same (cliché, i know) slow motion i experienced them that day. she was walking, her hair going up and down, always settling perfectly before the next step. she seemed to look nowhere, just out of this world. she didn’t notice me, which was not obvious, because she was only a few meters behind me, in a moving crowd, with only me stopping and staring right at here. it must have been around 4 seconds, but it felt much longer. i then woke up again and moved into the direction of my bus – hers was at the other side of am sande. i even missed my bus back to adendorf to wait for her to get on hers. she still seemed very absent minded, now at a secure distance of around 30 meters. i watched her get into the bus, sit on the left side and leave.
this was the day eva rose above any other girl i had ever seen or had feelings for. this story is still worth quite a few posts, but this day is probably the reason that eva tüting is the myth.
it was that time of year again. the musikschule lüneburg held its open day, one year after the last one cited in one of the past posts. once again, i was playing with a band on the outdoor stage, but before we started, i looked for eva’s classroom (the one in the picture). up to then, i didn’t know where she studied the viola, but i found it quickly, right next to the stage. when i arrived there, only the teacher and another student were there, and some chairs for visitors to sit and watch. i sat, and waited. a nice, old, spacey room. kind of dark, but light was coming through a window, and its beam was visible on the floor.
i don’t know if you ever felt this way, but when the person you’re waiting to see finally arrives, it’s almost as if you have no clue of what to do, where to look at. that’s how i felt most of the time when i saw any of these platonic passions i’d had up to eva, and it was no different with her. when she came in, i almost felt the room becoming very small. after all, i would always watch her from a certain distance, rarely i would be in the same room she was. she seemed a little late, but was all smiles, took out her viola and positioned herself near that window. the light was shining on her dark blond hair, which always seemed reddish – now even more so. she was wearing a blue summer dress with white flowers all over it, only making her feet visible. it was, by fair, my favorite outfit, and i’d seen her use it quite a few times. her hair was perfectly “wusch” – straight, kin-length, golden, and after any movement, it would go back to its initial position in perfect fashion. and she shaked her hair quite a bit while playing. you see, eva is a really talented musician and comes from a family of musiciains – her father reinhard tüting was my brother leo’s teacher for years, and no doubt had a great musical influence on him. and her mother played instruments too, as did her older sister wiebke. but eva was something special. very talented indeed, she played the cembalo (harpsichord), all kinds of flutes and possibly some other instrument; and in addition to that, she had a beautiful voice. but her playing the viola that afternoon has been a very vivid memory since then. the beam of light on her, her movements while interpreting the piece she was rehearsing with her teacher, that dress, that hair, that music, that room… it was as if time had stood still. i almost even forgot i was in love with her; i couldn’t stop staring, looking, admiring, in an awe. this was something really special, someone really special. this is one of those rare moments of perfection. the only one i can remember without having to search my memory – i’m sure there have been others, but none has stuck to mind more than this one. i guess my heart was beating very fast at first, and then almost stopped beating, to not get in the way with what i was seeing, experiencing. and i’d never seen her as beautiful as on that day – and this of a girl i had considered to be physically perfect from a very subjective point of view.
i had to leave the room the play for the band. i was hoping that she would show up and watch – not at all to see me play the saxophone, which wasn’t anything compared to her playing the viola. but to be able to watch her for a little longer. this hunger could not be stilled, i longed to see her. but, differently than last year, she didn’t show. and although i was trying to keep my eyes at her room, right next to where we were, it seemed that she had left and i hadn’t noticed. so i played there, between the hope to still see her at least one more time that day, and the disappointment of her having left. and so it was. we played our set, i still went to the saxophone department and stayed there for a while – knowing that she had left (the open day was over), but still with that little 1% hope that she hadn’t, i talked to some friends while sometimes looking to the other side, where her room, that room, was. maybe she would still walk out.
an enormous adrenaline kick and a shock went through my body when i saw her walking out the building. have you ever felt this? no time to really process that she was, against all odds, still there – she was leaving! not even enough time to process her full beauty, that dress, that face, that hair. i said a very quick and sudden goodbye to my friends and stepped out my building. where was she? gone already? no, there she was, walking. i knew where she was going – to get her bus at am sande, the 1977 (my year of birth) to deutsch-evern. so there she was, walking down apothekenstrasse in the direction of grosse bäckerstrasse. by the way, all these locations (including her room) can be seen on http://flama4.multiply.com/photos/album/36/36. with not real control over my pace, i passed her quite quickly, at bonhorst music store. i had no courage to look back and see where she was and still was walking far too fast. when i took the right at rats-apotheke, i quickly looked back and still saw her. so now i walked slower, towards kleine bäckerstrasse. heart beating really fast, still no courage to look back. finally, when i got to perl buchhandlung, already near am sande, i went in and stopped. where was she? was she gone again? why was i so stupid? why didn’t i look back? she didn’t know who the heck i was! i went back on the street. and then i saw her.
this is another one of those very magical scenes, where time seemed to move very slowly. she was very near, and my natural reaction would be to look away and walk. but i simply couldn’t. i froze and just watched her, and these images are still in my head, in the same (cliché, i know) slow motion i experienced them that day. she was walking, her hair going up and down, always settling perfectly before the next step. she seemed to look nowhere, just out of this world. she didn’t notice me, which was not obvious, because she was only a few meters behind me, in a moving crowd, with only me stopping and staring right at here. it must have been around 4 seconds, but it felt much longer. i then woke up again and moved into the direction of my bus – hers was at the other side of am sande. i even missed my bus back to adendorf to wait for her to get on hers. she still seemed very absent minded, now at a secure distance of around 30 meters. i watched her get into the bus, sit on the left side and leave.
this was the day eva rose above any other girl i had ever seen or had feelings for. this story is still worth quite a few posts, but this day is probably the reason that eva tüting is the myth.
the day before yesterday, when i went to catch the bus to adendorf at am sande (which now leaves from where the old 1977 bus left), i was at the musikschule, so i was able to walk that same historical path once again... i even stopped at the bookstore perl...
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