special people, places & things

musical journey

2011-11-23T15:38:00.004+01:00

i fancy myself to be quite a good listener. at least in the world of music. i have a brother who composes and arranges, and is can listen technically at an absurd level. i have another brother who produces and sings. i guess i'm the one who listens to what they and others do or produce.

when i say i can listen, i really mean that i appreciate music more than most. it really goes deep into my soul and is part of my private inner world, if you will. listening for me is more than a hobby; when possible, it has to be done with complete focus, with the goal to feel and understand. i do admit to being pretty restrictive in chosing what i devote time to in this arena. most of the focused listening time has been going to sting, peter gabriel and pat metheny tradicionally, with quite a lot of leonardo goncalves and herbert grönemeyer in the mix. i have my guilty pleasures (aha and simply red mostly in the past, and even the likes of katy perry more recently), and more recently i've been listening a lot to daniela araujo and sigur rós, which she introduced me to.

but to listen and see live, with the visual and the natural surround audio, this had been a rare pleasure in my life. if i had to make a highlight list of concerts i've seen in brazil, even michael w smith (twice!) would have to be included, although i was able to see the russian pianist evgeny kissin play a recital in rio de janeiro, in the 90s.

this has changed since my arrival in bremen july 14, 2010. i've been back in germany for 497 days now (round number coming up!), and life has been a blessing. the by far biggest one shall be a future topic on this blog, but this minor one is surely worth mentioning.

on average, i've been to a high class musical concert every 31 days - basically once a month. this, of course, is without counting other cultural events (1 f1 race, soon 7 werder matches, 1 bayern match, bird parks & other tourisms). here my list and a few thoughts on each one of them.

august 28, 2010

by then i'd seen two jazz concerts in bars in town, but this was the first highlight: vladimir ashkenazy brought his sydney symphony orchestra (by some viewed as a top ten orchestra in the world) to "die glocke", bremen's main concert hall. with hime came young bulgarian top piano talent behzod abduraimov, who played one of tchaikovsky's concerts brilliantly. incredible concert, memorable day.

october 12, 2010

this would be my first live encounter with sting, who i'd known and listened to for over 17 years at that point. still, i wasn't expecting too much since i hadn't really got into liking the album "symphonycities", but it was a huge surprise: fantastic atmosphere in hamburg's 02 arena, and really high quality music with sting singing with authority and the london symphony orchestra causing the emotions to flow. "i hung my head", "this cowboy song", "the end of the game" and "why should i cry for you" stood out - and it was just fitting that the show opened with my traditional all-time favorite song "if i ever lose my faith in you". i left the show with the impression that this had been the best concert i'd ever been to in my life.

december 4, 2010

first high class concert event not alone - my cousin raphael accompanied me to munich to see a recital by evgeny kissin, the above mentioned russian wunderkind (now 40 years old), who played a liszt recital like a true master. it was simply astonishing, exciting and worth every minute. second time kissin in my life... and not the last!

march 17, 2011

i hadn't heard of the trondheim jazz orchestra until a couple of weeks earlier. this very peculiar orchestra (saxophone, 2 violins, 1 cello, a brass section, guitar, percussion and drums) is based in the famous music university in that norwegian town. they constantly play with some of jazz greatest, including pat metheny, and this day they were playing music from a collaboration with joshua redman, considered by me to be the best saxophone player alive. the sendesaal in bremen is a perfect location, thanks to its incredible (and legendary) acoustics and its somewhat informal setting. joshua is really incredible, and it was very exciting to see him perform live... and the music sticks with me until today.

may 7, 2011

i'd seen him around half a year earlier, but in a different setting. dominic miller has been sting's guitarist since the late 80s and has composed a couple of sting's most beautiful songs, such as "shape of my heart". his band held an event in my neighbouring village worpswede, famous for they're culture and events (last month the red hot chillie peppers gave a concert at their famed music hall). the band consisted of a piano, a base and, most memorably, the percussionist sting used for his winter project. i really enjoyed it, sitting in the first row!

may 15, 2011

i drove to braunschweig, which is a 90 minute drive from home, to see this man do a completely solo performance. sitting in the second row and even participating at a certain point (in a kind of choir he set up at the spot), bobby mcferrin was exactly as expected: a musical genius with a huge heart. i couldn't believe that i was seeing all these people live - mcferrin happens to be one of the artists that i have listened to in that focused way. anytime he's back in germany i'd love to go - if it's not too expensive (like his gig with chick corea next year in berlin).

june 2, 2011

the day i saw herbert grönemeyer live. you have to do it once! the stadium in hamburg was packed (normally hsv plays there), and i was sitting at the furthest seat possible (because it was cheaper...), but it was still a memorable experience. even with that kind of crowd, herbert manages to be personal - he stayed there way after official concert time and played and sang for the crowd, no matter what size, even after his band had left. it started at 20h and only ended close to midnight! some really great performances, people singing along a fantastic sound in this mild pre-summer night. another good one!

july 7, 2011

my cousin laura was with me on this one, and the next two. a 2 hour drive to the nice city of strasbourg, france. a quick look into the "altstadt". then concert time - like with grönemeyer in the back for monetary reasons, but it was vital to be there: keith jarrett, gary peacock and jack dejohnette are one of the most prolific trios in jazz history, and you feel like seeing history happening in front of your eyes. i, of course, really enjoyed keith's musicality, his understanding, his musical language - totally worth it! one of their many albums ("the cure") is part of those that i'd listened to many times in that focused mode...

july 12, 2011

cousin lmmc introduced me to this girl: yulianna avdeeva won the chopin competition, one of the most important piano contests in the world, and was playing at a little castle near montpellier, france. so there we were to see the talented jewish russian female player. let's put it like this (sorry dear cuz'), it wasn't her best day. but sitting in the front row, open air, french castle, evening and listening to a high quality recital wasn't the worst moment of the year... ;)

july 13, 2011

this is the reason we went to montpellier: to see the other russian, male and in no need of winning competitions. evgeny kissin plays liszt, i had seen it in december, but not fully understood every aspect of it. this time i was prepared, and it was an even more enriching experience than the first time. during the sonata, i even got emotional.

july 17, 2011

there are a few reasons why this evgeny kissin experience was by far the most emotional one. you see, i've been listening to the 12-year-old kissin playing the chopin concertos for almost two decades now. they are the single pieces that move me most in classical music. and there i was in bad kissingen (northern bavaria, germany) listening to the russian master playing concerto no.1 by chopin, with the woman of my life, recently arrived from brazil, sitting by my side. that brought more than just one tear to the eye, mainly in the second movement. yes, there was a chinse tenor (keija xiong) singing mozart (great stuff by the way) and the invited orchestra (from montpellier, conducted by lawrence foster) played tchaikovsky's nutcracker (complete version, quite breathtaking!). the end of the kissinger sommer in bad kissingen with kissin - what a night!

july 18, 2011

the following day, sizinha (the woman of my life from above) accompanied me to see sting in his symphonicity tour again, this time with the czech national orchestra, and in the city of mannheim. we were sitting in the last row, so it wasn't as personal or imediate as in october, but it was still a hell of a show with some tunes not played in hamburg. special times.

october 25, 2011
in a bar in bremen, my brother leo, his wife dani, our friends mudo & ju and luquinhaz went to see marketa irglova - the girl from the movie "once". she brought her band, with an impressive vocalist/percussionist (great voice & rythm), a guitarist (from glen hansard's "the frames") and a base player. marketa and glen had been in bremen two years ago, not to long after their cult hit movie "once", but this time she headed her own band. the music was sometimes of very high level, but mostly too melancholic and minor to listen to for 2 hours. still, some really great moments in this one, too. and just to see the main actress from one of my favorite movies live was worth it.

october 30, 2011

front row. hamburg kupfernagel. my love sitting next to me, maybe even more excited for me than i was able to express? and then, lights, pat metheny comes out. so very strange to be there, see him and that typical smile of his, and his shirt, always striped. and his toys, his guitar, his craft. soloing much better than i'd ever seen him before, pat was accompanied by larry grenadier (upright base) and bill stewart (drums). i though this would be a good intro do seeing pat live, since i usually don't like the trio setting. but i knew basically all the tunes (most from the pmg set list) and it was just breathtaking. always & forever, question & answer, bright sized life - he even played with his orchestrion, which was really something else, and he varied his guitars, including the picasso. gotta see it and him again. and again. hope to see lyle some day...

november 8, 2011

back to bremen, back to the sendesaal. this time, a solo artist. a lesser bobby mcferrin, let's say. vinx was in town, i caught it in the newspaper just a couple of days earlier. it was cold, he is warm. vinx worked with sting and peter gabriel, with the us government, with stevie wonder - as percussionist and vocalist. his show was something else, a real shame that it was in the middle of the week and sizinha couldn't be there with me. fantastic stuff, a real highlight. and i got to sit in the front row and chat with him afterwards ("sting is a star, peter gabriel is much more human and friendly", he said). great work with voice, and he is a solo act in his own right, having given workshops everywhere, including berklee.

november 22, 2011

he remembered. joshua redman was back to bremen, but this time in "die glocke". of course i had to be there too, sitting in the back and curious to see his duets with renowned pianist brad mehldau. i own mehldau's collaboration with metheny, and he has his very own specific style, that has to do a lot with the way he attacks the keys, loves to explore rythm and texture, filling up the big concert hall. mehldau is special, redman is special, and i had another really special evening yesterday. both of their musicalities are simply over the roof, and people felt it, didn't want them to leave. they knew it was special. what a collaboration - just piano and saxophone (mostly tenor, a little soprano), no rythm section besides their own incredible rythmic pulse and feel. they can both play beautifully, agressively, fast and deep, and they do it moving between these adjectives with competence.

i'm so thankful. and i hope 2012 will be similar, there is always more to come. berlin philharmonic orchestra, for example...

class of 2011

2011-06-04T16:31:00.000+02:00

this is becoming a habit. over the years, i've had many students, and today seems a good time to write down what i will remember of each one of those which i had in my maths or physics class the last months. this is the first of hopefully many graduating classes here in bremen, and i want to register the three things i will most remember of each one of them.

marlene will be remembered for always greeting me, for her seemingly infinite search for knowledge and for her transparent character. what you see is what you get with her, and it's a good sight.

lea will be remembered for her honest interest for content and people, her lighting-up-a-room smile and her will to help.

jule will be remembered for her incredibly fast thinking (not only in math), her hair colors and her shy smile - ok, one more, her chocolate sessions with the table.

thai will be remembered for her dedication, her maturity and her profound kindness. and, yes, chocolate art.

sadaf will be remembered for her high standards and values, her high goals and dreams and for her love-themed art work.

i'll remember caroline for her positive, almost palpable energy, her good smelling tea and her smile when she got something right.

stephanie will be remembered for her courage, her incredible artistic talent and expression, and her originality.

chantal represents her hometown bremen to me perfectly: quiet, always with a smile on her face, and with a great sense of humor - the kind that makes others laugh while she just continues to smile.

denise will be remembered for the werder schal gesture (chanti and denise, that was really special and will always be cherished), her patience and perseverance, and her latin american flair (always a good thing!).

max will be remembered for caring, for his integrational skills and for always being a good sport. and, of course, for having to deal with me twice as much.

bilal will be remembered for his coolness, his rare and great relationship to his brother and his laid back attitude towards everything, including studying.

aidin will be unforgotten because he reminds me of my best friend from high school: very smart, not very dedicated, and sometimes suprisingly interested in issues. i wish you well!

finally, promita will stay in my memory because of her unique voice, her positive outlook on life and her healthy self confidence.

they all made my days happy, they will be missed. i liked and loved them all, hope they felt it a little.

looking up to someone

2011-05-08T13:51:00.002+02:00

when you are young, there a quite a few people you look up to. singers, sportsmen, sometimes even teachers. few think of close family or even parents when they are preteens or teens.

as you grow older and get a better grasp of what life is all about, of what love is all about, and about all the simple and complex things this world has to offer us. and some point, you sometimes stop to look up to anyone human. i mean there is always a lot to admire in people, but to look up to?

and then, later on, maybe after your twenties, you step down a little from the pedestal you had put yourself on, whilst never really admitting it. and you start looking up to people again; not many, but one or the other.

one of those people in my life is having a special day today. although a good 700 km away, my mother is someone who i've always admired deeply and loved inconditionally, but only in the recent years has assumed this position in my life. a person i look up to.

happy mother's day.

this is it

2011-01-16T17:21:00.001+01:00

this post is not about michael jackson. he's been dead for over a year and a half now; coincidentally, at that time the desire to move back to germany was starting to become a concrete plan. although many people who know me are aware of my nostalgic feelings towards this country, some might think: why germany? what is it about that place you grew up?

this is it. today was it, once again, maybe stronger than ever. i left home at around 4 pm for a bike ride in the neighborhood. november and december have been freezing, in all senses, and the mild temperatures of january have caused quite a lot of flooding throughout the country, due to the large amounts of snow freezing and making rivers overflow.

there is a small little river a few hundred meters from where i live, called "wümme". that's where i went on this sunny sunday, and in this time a year, 4 pm is pretty close to sunset time.

i'll post some pictures as soon as i can (can't seem to find the cable), but this is why i love north germany; and this is why i have fallen in love with bremen.

i moved to borgfeld, a little village still belonging to the 10th biggest german city, not even two weeks ago. and already it has the potential to become what i imagine to be a place i could live for a long, long time. it just feels like home, it feels right. within 2 minutes, i was in the middle of the fields, overflown with the water that used to be snow and ice. and what i saw there made me be profoundly grateful to God, and it left me feeling as if i've returned home.

i also remembered my younger brother and think this could be a quite inspiring place for him, maybe for a future project.

the national park here in the wümme area, that's what makes borgfeld, bremen and north germany so great. i can still o visit many places from here, but i'd love this to become my permanent home, sometime.
here are just a few pics:

album 43: saviour (various artists)

2011-01-15T11:23:00.000+01:00

those were good times - when major projects were made, and all major christian contemporary music artists would be invited to lend their talents and voices. the beginning of the 90s had a few of those projects, and i'd like to mention "the new young messiah" and "my utmost for his highest" as very good examples of making this format work.

it was a special project led by greg nelson and phil mchugh, who had made a name for themselves producing the big ccm christian singers of the 80s, sandi patti, steve green and larnelle harris. greg and phil are producers, arranjers and composers, and that's what they did on this special project, which was supposed to be their musical masterpiece. and, to me, it still is. "saviour" attempts to be a musical, and instead of everyone singing a solo or participating in a duet, this time the idea was to ask five singers to solo, duet, trio in various songs, accompanied and sometimes lead by a choir. the high quality of this album is certainly also due to the talent of larnelle harris, steve green and wintley phipps in top form, and a fantastic choir, far from being only backups to the "stars". twila paris did very well, and even wayne watson was okay.

but the songs and arrangements are at the heart of this endeavor; the choir does a great job in the opening (creation) and in the exodos (slavery and freedom), singing very profound and witty lyrics in great orchestreal, but still modern and timeless music. "the kings of the earth", featuring harris, green and phipps, and the creation of man duet pulled off grandiously by phipps as God and harris as adam ("my heart belongs to you") are the high points of the repertoire, with the song "the rose of sharom" being also beautiful.

all in all, a true masterpiece in christian music, with some really thrilling moments in between. i've sung it twice in portuguese, and it was still really great - which gives the songwriters and arrangers even more credit.

album 44: pat metheny group (pat metheny group)

2010-12-05T17:45:00.000+01:00

this album was the very first recording by the then recently founded pat metheny group, recorded and released in 1978. young jazz guitar player pat metheny and piano master lyle mays co-founded the group and included mark egan on bass guitar and dan gottblieb on drums to form the first of not too many lineups of the group's history. and it was quite a remarkable start.

the album opens with an over 10-minute tune featuring pat on a 12-string guitar with peculiar tuning and a long solo by lyle mays. what a way to start a debut album: no solo for the lead musician, over 10 minutes and a never-heard before guitar sound. needless to say that "san lorenzo" is a classic, and with merit. "phase dance" is the second track and most likely the most popular one on the album, with pat now playing the guitar who most uses, and the group presenting one of their key features: an apparently simple musical idea develops into a sometimes apotheotic, but almost always harmonically complex track. the album has six tracks and was produced by manfred eichner, the german jazz visionary and founder of the ecm label.

two additional interesting notes: the track "april joy" already cites "phase dance", quite funny to see in an album, and even in a debut album. and at that time, the group toured extensively with new material and only then went to the studio to record the music, and not the other way around.

happy birthday lyle

2010-11-28T15:20:00.002+01:00

i've written about him already. my one musical hero, someone who speaks musically. and who i really feel i understand, i empathize with. let's have a quick look at his life, from my point of view:

at age 20, lyle mays met pat metheny. living in new york and co-founding the pat metheny group, the idealist was living for music - and almost starving, literally.
at age 23, lyle and pat joined up with eberhard weber and nana vasconcelos (by request of the great manfred eichner) to record "watercolors" in ludwigsburg, my father's home town. trully great music, beyond jazz for sure.
at age 24, lyle and pat recorded the first pat metheny group album, self-intitled and known today as "the white album". another landmark. with lyle mays having the first solo in the groups history, a 5-minute solo even, in the tune "san lorenzo".
at age 26, he records his (for me historic) solo in "the search", from the american garage album.
at age 27, he puts out a duo album with pat, supported by nana: as falls wichita, so falls wichita falls is one of the best albums ever, and lyle's work on "ozark" and "september fifteenth" is legendary.
at age 28, he collaborates with the german bassist eberhard weber and plays the piano on "maurizius".
at age 29, he wins his first of eleven grammy awards for the group's live album "travels".
at age 30, he presents us with his participation in the classic "first circle".
at age 32, he records my all-time favorite album, and his first solo effort "lyle mays", with eight simple incredible tracks. that's music. no categories, just music.
at age 33, my current age, he was recording such tunes as "last train home" and "minuano" for the album still life: talking, pmg.
at age 34, his second album comes out, with some really great moments in street dreams.
at age 35, he records "letter from home".
at age 36, he collaborates with bobby mcferrin on the album "medicine music", with the song "common threads".
at age 41, he playes his solo on "to the end of the world" and his incredible composition "episode d'azur", both on the pmg album "we live here".
at age 42, his musical sensitivity plays a great role in pmg's improvisational album "quartet", a great conceptual success.
at age 43, what a fantastic job with "imaginar day" and some legendary piano work on "the heat of the day" and, most of all, "the awakening".
at age 46, his fourth solo effort "solo" comes out - and it is precious!
at age 48, some really great work and improvising on "speaking of now", pmg's 2002 output.
at age 51, lyle was the mastermind behind the 68 minute long track "the way up", pmg's masterpiece.

yesterday was lyle may's 57th birthday. we miss your music, man!

smells like snow

2010-11-25T06:59:00.000+01:00

i'd missed that feeling.

yesterday, walking through the beautifiul city center of bremen. lights everywhere, christmas in the air, the smell of mandeln and sweets, warm mixed with cold. and, most of all, the crisp air, cold. someone next to me said what i was thinking: it smells like snow.

the first snow of bremen's winter seemed to be felt in the air. and it was no surprise, but still a delight, to see the signs of that first snow when i left for school this morning.

i'd missed that feeling.

album 45: brand new day (sting)

2010-11-24T19:51:00.001+01:00

last month i had the unique experience of attending a sting concert live. it was trully beyond words, much more than i had expected - his greatest songs in the setting of a great orchestra, some great arrangements and musical moments, and just a great performance by everyone, from his backing vocal lady (who i've been a fan of since his last winter album) over dominic miller to sting himself, in top form. and he did play one or the other tune from one of his great studio albums, the last one i cared to by (besides the winter album). "brand new day" had the idea of a brand new millenium, since it was recorded in 1999. the title song (with stevie wonder playing his harmonica) is okay, but the outstanding tracks are the opener (which is a sting tradition, always opening strong) called "a thousand years", the fantastic story and vibe in "after the rain has fallen" and the best tune on the album, "ghost story". once again, sting imerges into the worlds of the most different characters, so this album has a ten summoner's tale feel to it. "big lie, small world", "fill her up" and "tomorrow we'll see" help make the album an overall great piece of musical work.

you might want to try some of these songs out if you're not all to familiar with sting's later, post-the police, work. as always, the lyrics really give sense to the music.

album 46: mensch (herbert grönemeyer)

2010-11-21T19:52:00.001+01:00

this album is trully remarkable. it was grönemeyer's first release of new music after his wife's and brothers death in the same week. grönemeyer had already been germany's most successful artist, but this album gave him his first number one single, the great title track "mensch". in midst of a summer crisis in germany (natural causes, floods) and his personal suffering, the song brought hope to a whole country. with this, the album was released and became the most successful to date, in 2002. in sales, but also in critical acclaim. it is a really good overall album, with two highlights: his homage to his deceased wife is the most beautiful peace of music i've ever heard, for that particular situation. his lyrics are once again beyond words, and the song is exactly what it should be. and the final track, "zum meer", uses the sea once again as an emotional platform and produces a very strong closing track, a mix of melancholy and hope. this album is rightly in my top 50 of all time.

character translated into music

2010-11-15T09:09:00.002+01:00

he wasn't only one of the finest musicains i've ever known. a master of sensibility and creativity, with unbelievable talent and taste on the piano. he was also one of the best people i've ever met.

wendel mattos passed away a few hours ago. he's been battleing diverse diseases since seemingly always, and he'd overcome all of them, until the most recent one. there is no doubt that he left us much too soon, but his legacy will on in music and, most of all, example.

wendel's rarity consisted in him being a very authentic person. a true believer, who didn't talk about it, but rather chose to live it in every aspect of his life. his compositions and musical contributions were the best way of giving his God-given talent back to the Creator, but it seemed always in perfect harmony with his character. wendel would trully let himself be used as an instrument, and he gained his meaning and purpose of life from that fact, translated into experiences and musical notes. he didn't just talk about the Truth, he felt it and lived it. he never did it in such a way that everybody could see, but everyone who wanted to, could.

his testimony will remain. it will still inspire many lives, as it has up to now. and when that day comes, wendel will have the pleasure to meet people living long after him, but who got to know the Lord through his life works and example.

may God continue to use his now resting instrument. touching lives with that genius stroke on he piano, those beautiful and simple melodies, those profound lyrics and that shining example. he has touched my life many times, and his life will continue to be vital for mine.

can't wait to see him again.

my grandmother

2010-09-18T15:05:00.000+02:00

she was very special lady.
incredibely loving and patient.
truthful, simple, grand.
her cooking was characteristic, the taste felt like a home i never knew.
she sat there, she smiled, she loved.
she cried everytime i left.
i shed a tear when she left.
we will meet again, vovó iolanda.

classics

2010-07-18T09:30:00.002+02:00

okay, this post will be kind of old. and maybe a little corny. but it has to be.

i find myself really appreciating the music of the 1976-85 era. some of my favorite music bands and acts have their origin there, but in this little post i am not referring the the police's success (culminating to "every breath you take" in 1984), the beginning of the pat metheny group in 1978, simply red's initial steps with the classic "holding back the years" in 1985, or even michael jackson's albums "off the wall" and "thriller", all within that time period.

i want to write about those great radio songs there used to be (sounds old, but it's true, we just don't have them anymore). i'm sure you can think of quite a few of them, but i want to remember only three.

i first heard john miles' "music" in the late eighties - and it is one of those timeless classics that will always pop up on radios anywhere, at the most unexpected times. i really like this song, until today, although it is one of the famous cases of "one-hit-wonders", originally released in 1976 by the pianist and studio musician (abby road) john miles. here's a recent live version:

the next artist had more than one hit: christopher cross might not be a household name to most, but at least three of his songs are extremely recognizable, even after three decades: his debut single "riding like the wind", released in 1980 and, even more so, "arthur's theme", which is more known as "best what you can do" and is famous for the phrase "when you get caught between the moon and new york city". but who doesn't know this eternal radio megahit? i must say, it is a personal favorite, corny as that may be. but that's just some good music! here a live version:

and finally, the classic chicago. a phenomena in terms of popularity of albums and songs, the band based in the illinois capital had top 15 hits in all of their first 10 albums, but it took them until their 10th album in 1976 to get their first number one. and it is quite a beautiful one at that, a classic from 1976. enjoy. by the way, the brass was always an essential part of the band.

seven years

2010-07-15T07:18:00.003+02:00

today is july 15. i woke up to the song of birds, familiar to me in the past. a cool breeze met me when i left the little bed & breakfast room to head for a 7 am breakfast - a delicious one, at that. yesterday, it was 35º even at 5 pm, but today should be a cooler day after the rain over night.

i'm at my new reality. bremen. i got to know my future flat yesterday, and both it and the surroundings are much better than i dreamed.

i feel a great amount of gratitude. to God, first and foremost. but i've been thinking of someone else lately, someone who's always been there for me.

i've known him for almost 31 years now. we grew up together. but it wasn't until the summer of 1992, when my older brother left for boarding school, that we got to live as a duo instead of a trio, for the first time. that 92/93 year was the first year leo and me would get to know and admire each other a little more than before. then it was my turn to leave, and we were only reunited as a duo in 1995, this time at the brazilian boarding school. once again, our crowds were not the same, but it brought us together another bit. just like 1999, when andre once again had left, this time to work. leo and me spent quite a bit of time together, some of it with edson and didio, two good friends from university.

these three years in particular had brought us together quite a bit; musical influences were now going both ways, talk about girlfriends and similar life situations became deeper, and the incredible connection we three brothers always had was revealing itself more and more in those years.

then it was my turn to leave, to take a job in south brazil. at the end of 2003, it had been 4 years later, and quite a lot had changed. now in são paulo, leo had become a professional singer, besides concluding his studies in literature. we moved in together, in what was to be our longest period as a duo - two and a half years. although he travelled a lot, i have inumerous great memories from that time, mostly involving music, movies and talks. i'd always been a great fan of his creativity, which was first revealed through his writing when he was still a young teenager. i'd always admired his firmness and natural leadership, which he has had since his first years at school. and i was becoming more and more impressed by his great generosity, so authentic and meaningful.

in 2008, we moved back in together, for our seemingly last year as a duo. you must understand, i had only lived with andre and without leo for 3 years, and they've never lived only them two, without me; and leo and i were completing 6 1/2 years without andre. i remember feeling empty the day he left, but it was for a good cause: he was getting married!

january 2010. once again, leo's generosity showed its face in my life, and because of his iniciative, shared by his wife dani, we had a wonderful trip to snowy north germany. and he took me to the interview in bremen. which is were i am now, with a big smile on my face.

but that was not enough - after i accepted the job offer, i moved in with him and his wife, who took me in for this last half year, helping me to save up some money for this new, fresh start, this comeback to germany.

we completed the seven years.

and i am so thankful for this last semester, and for all of these years.

i'm not someone who misses places or peoples after i move on to other things. i love nostalgia, but i don't miss.

i miss leo.

it's so good to know that he doesn't only root for me and my happiness, but participates so actively in it. thanks.

boatdrinks.

album 47: chaos (herbert grönemeyer)

2010-06-25T14:51:00.002+02:00

herbert grönemeyer has been in my musical life since 1990. he entered it via the album "luxus", which didn't make it into the top 50. "chaos" was the first new album released after listening to grönemeyer, and it was a big hit with me. the german pop/rock artist and his band use music to underline fantastic lyrics, and he is never afraid to try something new. his ballads are just great, and two of them are my favorite songs on this album: "land unter" and "kein verlust". but i also have grown to really love listening to "morgenrot", and since i bought the album, "chaos" and "grönland" have been personal hits.

the themes of the album are diverse. "land unter" is romantic, and might have something to do with his recent marriage to the mother of his two children. "kein verlust" talks about loss of trust in a friendship, "chaos" is a critique of society, while "grönland" has a very interesting lyric, comparing the two unified germanys to a married couple with severe problems of relationship. "morgenrot" has a somewhat typical "i'd do anything for you" grönemeyer-lyric, but he is unique in writing great poetry that can be sung; of course non-germans will find the language very strange und maybe even non-musical, but it sounds quite natural to german speakers.

album 48: so (peter gabriel)

2010-06-20T16:26:00.002+02:00

the first time peter gabriel really caught my attention was in 1993. "so" was my second pg album, and it instantly became a favorite, initially even surpassing my passion for "us", my first pg album. this was mainly due to really strong tracks, like the opener "red rain", a typical peter gabriel song with lots of passion, rythm and sound. but my two favorite tracks on the album are also two of my all-time favorites from peter gabriel and in general: "in your eyes", with a great special participation of sengalese yossou 'n dour, who was discovered by pg; and, most of all, the fantastic "mercy street", just a great overall track.

"don't give up" and "sledgehammer" were the big hits when the album was initially released in 1986. it was produced by daniel lanois, who has also worked with u2. "so" was a big success everywhere, mostly in the uk (reached number one spot) and the us (reached number 2 on billboard). "sledgehammer" was number one on billboard, and number 4 in the uk; the second biggest hit out of the album was "big time", largely due to its innovative video (a mark in pg's career and a reasons for sledgehammer's success). i like all songs on the album, but only see three really strong ones.

peter gabriel has never been as successful as in times of the "so" album (nominated for four grammy awards, including album of the year), but he is constantly a great musician, with love for art and production values.

album 49: so much 2 say (take 6)

2010-06-19T15:17:00.002+02:00

take 6's second album was released in 1990, so we gonçalves kids got to knowing and loving it at the same time or even a tad earlier than the debut release. it is a true classic, with a much higher production value than its precessor (and mervyn warren the main producer), but a little less quality, all in all. still, i like this album a little better, mostly because of the song "come unto me", which is probably me all-time take 6 favorite. they've had some really good songs after that, but never any really great albums: this was the last great collection, and it even had a hit: "I L-O-V-E U" reached #19 in the hot r&b/hip-hop charts, and the album peaked at #2 in the contemporary jazz albums, and a respectable #72 in the billboard charts; another grammy came their way, and it was deserved: some great "traditional" a capella with "something within me", the mind-blowing opening title track, incredible arrangements as in "time after time", great production in "sunday's on the way". i do not like the last track, the first instrumental one for take 6. but it is an overall great album, confirming the incredible vocal versatility and quality of the sextet, and the high musical and spiritual value from the debut album, which was, indeed, a tough act to follow.

as mentioned above, take 6 has, since then, released another nine studio albums, each one a little worse than the one before. some memorable tracks have come out of those, though, and i would like to mention them: "o come all ye faithful" from "he is christmas"; "biggest part of me" from "join the band" (which is a pretty damn good album); "Jesus makes me happy" from "brothers"; and "a few more miles" from "so cool".

album 50: take 6 (take 6)

2010-06-19T14:56:00.003+02:00

it happened in a classroom in gymnasium oedeme, my highschool in lüneburg, germany. 8th grade, fall of 1990. my music teacher detlef schult, who was also the leader of the high school big band, was introducing that year's curriculum for his classes: a full year of jazz!

he chose an a capella group to talk about pentatonics, and played a negro-spiritual called "mary", a typical call-response song, where the soloist would "call" mostly using the pentatonic notes. i was impressed, really impressed. little did i know that the chosen group was take 6, a sextet coming out of the adventist church, which is my religious denomination.

their debut album, containing the song "mary", has been a huge hit with me and my brothers since those times, a solid 20 years now. it is an exceptional album with not one "weaker" track on it. the crowd favorites are normally "get away, jordan" and "david and goliath", but my personal favorites are "milky white way" and "He never sleeps". at the time, the album already was revolutionary, and it won alvin chea, cedrick dent, david thomas, mervyn warren, mark kibble and claude mcnight iii (brian's brother) three grammy award nominations (with two wins), including being nominated for "best new artist", a platinum disc (best-selling take 6 album to date), and a whole lot of respect in the music industry.

most of all, it is musically of the highest quality, 100% a capella, and spiritually strong. great album, to say the least!

class of 2010 - the "original" speech

2010-06-17T15:51:00.001+02:00

yes, it was my first time. yes, i was very nervous, and emotional. and yes, everyone noticed it, i'm glad my students are forgiving and warm.

for you, and for whoever would like to read it, this is what i actually wrote down and was supposed to me my speech on that June 28 evening:

"i hope you all are having a good evening. this is an important audience, because each and every one of you has been vital to the success of this class; as a parent, teacher, administrator, sibling, friend. this class owes a lot to you.

i now ask for your permission to address them.

first of all, i would like to thank you, the class of 2010, for the honor of being able to have this last little class. a public one, which takes me three years back.

after two years as a guidance counselor in a brazilian private school, i was looking for a job in the international school world, hoping to teach mathematics. like most of you, i’ve loved math all my life, and after completing my degree in education, i started my studies in math. i’d never heard of chapel before, it was my cousin who gave me the hint. in april of 2007, mr feitosa told me that a few months earlier, chapel school had been looking for a math teacher. i wrote the school the very next day, and was immediately invited to an interview. i still remember the seemingly endless walk from the reception to mr ciallelo’s office. a strange world that has become home to me.

i felt the interview went ok, and a “test class” was the next step in the process. after my first contact with miss may, it became clear the audience that time would be these good-looking people, but in 9^th grade. “this is generally a good class”, she told me. and finally, in the beginning of may, i had a chance to see for myself.

so there i was, about to teach a rather public class. mr ciallelo, ms colgrove, my good friend mr murphy, and ms may where there. less public than today, but maybe even more pressure. i remember talking to anders boman before class. and i know that quite of few of you sitting here were there too. you probably don’t remember it, but i sure do! i remember silvia and jayme. and i remember that the class was about n-gons.

the class didn’t go too well. i was more nervous than i anticipated, it was my first math class ever, and i wasn’t really used to speaking english at the time. in the interview after the class, i was told that a decision would be made by the end of may – and that if they didn’t call me, i should call in to find out.

can you imagine my disappointment? i was quite mad at myself, because i felt i had failed under pressure.

and sure enough, i didn’t get a call at the end of may. instead, i called – and was surprised by the information that they were still interviewing and that they would call me with a final answer a few days later. which meant that somehow i was still in the running.

i was very surprised when mr ciallelo offered me the job. and it only made sense that the schedule i received soon thereafter featured one class heavily – the one sitting in front of me.

and how lucky i have been! this might sound over the top, i am aware of that. but it is the honest truth: i never knew how wonderful teaching could be before i taught this class. don’t get me wrong: i’ve always enjoyed teaching and i’ve had a few memorable classes in the past, but this was something different, something else. students who hated physics studying it over night to do well in a test; of course, the grade seemed to be a big motivator, but there was certainly quite a bit more to it. at times, they actually seemed interested! and, very important for an effective classroom, they had a great sense of humor. some of their invented expressions were incorporated into my own vocabulary, and although no one seems to say “mythical”, “jebondy” or “jebonai” any more, i have a few friends outside of school who still do.

but over the course of that first year, when some students had to put up with me in two classes (physics and math), i understood more about why this class was different. they accepted people. they respected. they included. and they did it because they believed it to be right.

three years have passed. i’ve seen less of you as a whole class, although poor arthur has had me as a teacher in a record 5,5 classes. i’ve seen you fight for academic success. numbers and statistics don’t lie – this class has been a success story for our school and for us, teachers. you have mastered some tough ib classes and are headed for some pretty interesting college experiences. and all the hard work will pay off immediately. in your math-related courses, i guarantee you at least one full semester of pure review.

but today is no time to talk about math or physics. neither is it necessarily a time to talk about the future, the world’s challenges and what you guys can do about both of these things. i guess as we live longer, we notice that more things seem to be out of our control than we might desire. you have shown what can be done with great determination, a sense of union and a nice dose of humor. but it should also be clear to you that total control of your life’s destiny is and will always be unreachable; and it might not even be worth reaching.

there are things you can control. like happiness, for example. i know that this is quite a statement to make, since we generally have difficulties even defining what happiness is. i mean, is it a feeling, is it a state of mind, is it even tangible – can it be scientifically proven? are there parameters that tell us when we reach maximum or minimum local happiness? do we just derive the function of happiness and equal it to zero? and if there is a function of happiness, what would the independent variable be?

i want to make point tonight, a quite obvious one, almost cliché. i agree that there is more than one variable to happiness, but i want to focus on the most basic – the love variable.

i firmly believe that it is impossible to be happy if you haven’t learned to love. the curriculum of love is the most difficult around, believe me. it’s tougher than ib, and if you don’t take some time to learn it and practice it, happiness will not be easy to come by. not the exhilarant happiness of a moment, but the constant one. the one that is still there when you’re disappointed, suffer setbacks or are tired and sad.

previous knowledge in the subject of love is diverse, because it depends so much on past individual experience. but some things generally don’t have to be learned: how to love or hate yourself, sometimes almost simultaneously. how to fall in love, and even how to fall out of it. and how to despise or hate, which are some weird, but not uncommon forms of love. you might agree that some of these might provoke the exact opposite of happiness – which is not sadness, but fear. it is fear that leads to hatred, or despair, or loneliness, or depression, or indifference. if that is the case, then there must be some kind of connection between happiness and love. f(x) and x, if you will. (i can’t help myself.) because the cubic function comes to mind – you know which one i mean? as x goes to infinite positive, the sky is the limit for f(x) – but the reverse is also true.

how do we make the x tend to positive infinite? in other words, how can we actually learn to love? is there a right way to love? there is. and i’d like to close these considerations with three steps you can take towards the infinite:

first: step down of your own pedestal. as you know, i am a firm believer in God. therefore, it should be quite easy for me to put myself in my place, shouldn’t it? but my ego makes it difficult to follow this first step. true humility is a noble goal, and it is definitely worth pursuing. but i know from own experience that the closer i get to being truly humble, the happier i am.

second: know and appreciate yourself. it’s tough to sometimes look at ourselves and see the many shortcomings. this is why we sometimes avoid to look, and react allergic to those who we think or know are seeing these shortcomings. once again, this is fear showing its ugly face. don’t be afraid to look at yourself, come to terms with whom you are, and be okay with it. is that easy? not at all! but i can assure you, it is a way to happiness, because it is essential in the love curriculum.

third: as the good ol’ book puts it, “love thy neighbor”. and when i say “love”, i don’t mean like. to like is more specific, it has to do with affinity; you know when you just get along with someone, and you just don’t get along with that other someone? but to love, this is more essential, broader. it’s a genuine respect for the other, for his or her story, feelings, dreams. it’s independent of weaknesses and free of judgment; it is not conditional.

these steps are connected and support each other. it’s actually like a triangle: learning to love others in a genuine way really helps you to be okay with yourself, and puts our own ego-trip into perspective. learning to love ourselves really helps us appreciate and respect others, once again making us capable of seeing the big picture. and recognizing that i am not more important than anyone else who is trying to live a happy life on this planet really makes us move into the direction of loving others – which always finds a way of reflecting back to us. but the first step is more important, since without humility, self-love will be our natural tendency, and unhappiness will follow, sooner or later.

this is my one advice for this special moment: please remember to constantly take time to reflect on the curriculum of love, and on the things that really matter. the studying, the career, the work, maybe the future family, the ideals – this is all extremely important. but without the love, it seems somewhat meaningless – because love is a key ingredient in all of these things, we can’t really run away from it. grow in that curriculum, one that has no limits to it. work on the x-axis, and the dependent variable happiness will react.

the true reason this class is so special to me is that i’ve grown in all three steps of this special curriculum because of you. you have taught me lessons of love, and it is not difficult to say that you have my unconditional love. please, continue to grow in love, and radiate this truth to others the same way you have radiated it to your parents, your teachers, your colleagues and to me.

my cycle at this beloved school started with you, and it is ending with you. this public class is over. may you, the class of 2010, be remembered and known as the class that learned to love, and the world will certainly be a happier place for it.

congratulations, you all deserve love and happiness – today and tomorrow!"

series - top 50 albums of all time

2010-06-06T18:57:00.003+02:00

music is a very personal thing. i've been listening to it with mind and heart since 1986, i would say. and after almost 25 years of listening to it, and making some of it my own life soundtrack, i will countdown a very personal analysis of the top 50 albums in these years. in some of them, it will only be about the music; in others, also about what memories that music brings forth, and what emotions it awakens.

i'm looking forward to this little journey and will start it with albums that have not made the top 50, but have historical significance to me:

herbert grönemeyer is quite a big name to me, and it all started with the album "4630 bochum", ranked only 88th. it was my intro to grönemeyer's music and great lyrics, and it remembers me of one of my all-time best summers, the summer of 1990 at the eisenberg camp. "flugzeuge im bauch" was just the favorite song, i used to really enjoy all of them. which is not the case any more...

"first circle" was an early favorite in my pat metheny musical journey, around 1997. it is still one of my favorite all-time songs, and "if i could" is another old favorite, but it was not enough for the album "first circle" to be in the top 50, landing only in 80th.

"picture book" was part of my around 2-year obsession with simply red. my favorite song by that band, "holding back the years", is still one of my all-time favorites. but the album has too many weak tracks and landed in 79th.

right above it, "hymns" by steve green is found. this was the album i most listened to in the year 1994, and it was a really big album them. arrangements are still great now, but i've lost the love for this album.

right above that one, "ganz behutsam fängt es an" was one of my very early musical influences. it reminds me of my neighbour kiki, mostly "frei wie der adler im wind". the song "vater, ich danke Dir dafür" is still a favorite.

in 74th, luxus. this was my favorite herbert grönemeyer album until last year, and it is full of nostalgy, since it marked the years of 1990 and 1991. it fell out of the top 50 for being just not good enough musically, although "marie" will always be an all-time favorite.

in 72nd, "escolhi acreditar" was always considered the best tom de vida album, mostly in terms of production. but the album is too short to take away the weight of the not-as-good tracks, and is now only third place out of the four tom de vida albums.

"le voyage" still is a classic, from sandi patty. some really outstanding singing and piano/orchestra work, still a reference, but only 71st in the ranking.

69th place is occupied by a keith garret trio "the cure", one of the first jazz albums i ever really heard. very big influence in my taste for piano interpretation.

one of two sting solo album out of the top 50, "the dream of the blue turtle", his solo debut, landed on 65th, lacking real personal favorites.

"letter from home" was an early pat metheny group favorite, but is now one of the few out of the top 50. still a very good album, with the great title track to end it.

in 2001, i remember thinking of this album as a revolution in brazilian christian music, mostly in terms of production, and "o melhor lugar do mundo" has some pretty good songs, too - but not enough to be in the top 50, it was only 63rd.

"the new young messiah" was a big hit in my time at boarding school iasp, and interesting enough, it was that album that introduced me to the actual händel's messiah. great trio by larnelle, steve and michael, helping the album to finish 59th.

"beyond the missouri sky" is a masterpiece by guitar giant pat metheny and base guitar player charlie haden, and the album has a high musical level throughout. it's almost a shame that i didn't really ever get too warm with most of the songs - 58th.

"...nothing like the sun" has many good songs, but not enough really great ones to be in the top 50. "they dance alone" is still a favorite in sting's repertoire, though.

michael jackson's "bad" was an early favorite for me, "liberian girl" was my favorite song and remembered me of jana deutsch, for some strange reason. now, "man in the mirror" is not only my favorite track on the album, but also my favorite mj song. the album is 56th.

"my utmost for His highest" was long considered by me to be an almost ideal christian contemporary album, and it's songs are very strong until today. not enough to make the album top 50, it ended up in 55th.

"pictures at an exhibition" was the first album i ever bought, and i still really love it, as a grand work of art. but only few tracks really made it to the all-time favorites status.

simply red's "stars" was the album i most listened to for at least two years. i still think it has mostly really great songs, but the problem is that none of them is still a favorite for me. 52nd place, right in front of "pictures".

tonex is out of the top 50. 51st with o2, 75th with pronounced toe-nay. some really good stuff, some if it inspiring, but just that little bit lacking the real "star" quality.

jana's birthday...

2009-11-03T01:26:00.000+01:00

... is today. next post, i'll write about when i found out about it.

first time (iii)

2009-10-25T19:49:00.001+01:00

june 16, 1990. a day to remember.

summertime in germany; me, my brothers, and maybe a few other people were in the backyard, a good two weeks after the harpstedt weekend. it was a saturday afternoon. on sunday, the pathfinders would meet at home. at my place. with jana.

it had been exactly eleven weeks since i had left a little note in her jacket, saying “ich hab dich gern” (i “like you” like you), and signed by “irgendwer” (someone). i was in the best of moods. my mother calls. “telephone, raphael”. yes, the raphael from an earlier series. i went inside and picked up the phone downstairs, when i hear something quite unexpected on the other side of the line. “hello, here is jana.” silence. and even before i could think of the magnitude of the fact that jana was calling me, again, she had hung up – after a quick “ich hab dich auch gern”.

it almost made me feel dizzy. my wildest hopes, dreams, interpretations, observations. they were confirmed by one simple and direct sentence. for the first time in my life, someone i liked had openly declared that they liked me. it was kind of understood with michaela in 1986, but confirmation only came decades later. here it seemed quite clear. it was to be understood that what i felt for her, she had started to feel for me. she used the exact same words. there was no doubt about the interpretation.

i was so excited that i didn’t even stop to think about why she might have called me to say that, or why my mother was under the impression that raphael was on the phone. i just ceased the moment and the day. june 16 became a historical date for me.

june 17, next post.

first time (ii)

2009-10-17T21:27:00.000+02:00

i couldn’t think or react. i just said “yes”, and then she asked me: “did you put a note in my jacket yesterday?”. i didn’t deny it. she then responded: “ok, just wanted to confirm.” and hung up.

i think this was my first time in what i perceived to be the “real world”. for years and years, i had loved my imaginary world, kept secret from anyone else. my music, my thoughts and feelings, and my personal queen. for the first time ever, it seemed that a “queen” had taken notice not only of my existence, but also of my interest. and this queen was reigning for exactly one day. what now?

nothing. it would be a few weeks until i would see her again. i went to a different church, so we would see each other only at the “pathfinders”, equivalent to scouts.

that day was coming, and i was very curious and a little nervous about how it would be. as always at the time, i chose the passive approach; see, how she dealt with the idea, now that i assumed she knew i liked her. and when the day came, i did had a very uneasy feeling in my stomach. there was quite a bit of unspoken tension in the air, not negative at all. it was a rainy spring day, she was using that same (and now “famous”) pink and blue jacket. our eyes locked a few times, for spilt seconds – but sometimes it seemed like a long time. i went home later with a quiet grin on my face. she didn’t seem to be uncomfortable with the idea, she didn’t seem to reject me – this was a major victory for me. there seemed a chance that, with time, we could even get to know each other. i still had no idea about what was going on in her mind, but it seemed quite clear that there were no negative feelings towards me.

it went like that for another month. jana and me wouldn’t talk at all, but she was always the lone center of my attention whenever we were in the same space. i was becoming more and more friends with a few other people of the pathfinders. bärchen, which is how we called the very cute christiane boettge, was known to me for quite some time, and we were becoming better friends that year; on the other hand, she was jana’s best friend at the time, and i had even thought that she might have informed jana about the note i’d left in her jacket. it seemed to be that bärchen might be an ally in the whole jana story, but this is not why we became friends. i really do think that we enjoyed each other’s presence and friendship. marco and stefan zücker, two brothers who had also recently arrived from east germany, were entering my life, too.

finally, it was time for our group to go to a long weekend in tents, in harpstedt. this was a yearly event, quite anticipated by me and most pathfinders, where more than 150 pre-teens and teens (up to 15 years) where together for some social and spiritual quality time. it was my fourth time there, so i was kind of a veteran, compared mostly to the trio marco, stefan and jana, who were going for the first time. this was the most time we were to spend in the same place, so far. and i was excited.

the weekend was a little strange. i was feeling really good, confident. i was seeing many friends again, and it seemed to be the bst harpstedt long weekend ever. friday evening, jana and me set almost exactly opposite to each other in quite a big room. with this bigger distance than normally as kind of a protection shield, our eyes locked more often than ever before. and i felt really secure, because it seemed as if there was some kind of a secret bond between us, almost as if my secret world had begun being extended to the girl i was falling more in love with by the minute.

on saturday, the good feeling went away. i had a little bit of a allergic reaction with my eyes and had to abandon the afternoon activity, going back to camp. sitting on some stairs, i kept my eyes closed, and for some it might have seemed that i was crying. i only noticed that when jana’s younger sister, andrea, passed by and said: “thinking of my sister?”. wow, that was a real blow, for so many reasons. first of all, it seemed that it wasn’t such a secret at all. secondly, why did she say that, even with this kind of diminishing tone? was i totally mistaken after all, was i a joke, after all? and now that she thought i was crying, what would she tell her older sister? that whole confident and peaceful feeling from less than 24 hours before, that was totally gone.

nothing new on sunday, but i was worried, more than ever, about what was going on in jana’s mind. what was she thinking of me? what was she maybe even expecting? these questions were bothering me.

i think it was the last day, the monday. beginning of june, another great summer day. an activity in the gym, a game of survival. jana was out quite soon and sat in a private place. i stayed in the game for quite a long time, and everytime i passed by where she was, we looked at each other. the shyness that we both seemed to have, the looking without the other noticing, it had seemingly gone away for these minutes. so much so, that i can swear i saw tears in her eyes; yes, tears, it seemed quite clear. i didn’t even have time to think about why she could have been so sad that day, but i was deeply moved by it – and forgot all about my sorrows and insecurities about her. at that time, i felt even more than being in love – a felt actual love, empathy. and the will to do something, help, i don’t know. what could i do?

everytime i passed by her that end of morning, i felt a stronger bond than ever before. and be it my imagination or not, i really believed that she felt it, too. at one point, there was even a smile. i’d never seen a girl smile at me, with tears in her eyes. it’s truly heartbreaking.

if i think of memorable weekends in my life, this is still one of them.

to be continued.

first time

2009-10-10T20:00:00.002+02:00

a couple of weeks ago, i received a message in the german “facebook” called “studivz”. a woman called jana left a rather common scrap on my page, asking me (and all her other friends, i imagine) to leave a memory i have about her on her page. that’s when i decided that this next post was going to be dedicated to her, and my recollections of her. after all, as you will see, it is a major memory in my life.

it was the beginning of 1990. a new era for the world, with the fall of communism and the berlin wall, only a few months ago. and it was a new era for me, too. at age 12, i had been in love a few times already. sarah dumber, still in england, then five years earlier. in germany, first michaela (summer love), then the golden three: yvonne dobert, birte brettschneider and, currently (at the time), isabel willkommen. the latter had been on the “throne” for the longest amount of time. since september 1988. and march 1990 was coming to an end.

our church had organized a bible week for kids, starting march 24. i was starting to get fed up with being in love with isabel. i think i was getting fed up with always falling in love with these girls i didn’t even knew. i mean, if i exchanged more than a sentence with any of the three “golden girls” who dominated my “love life” since 1986, it would have been a miracle. i didn’t know who plato was yet, but his “love-style” seemed to be fitting for me. but i had enough. i made a conscious decision to try to find someone knew, someone who i could actually come closer to, maybe even someone with whom i could slowly build up some sort of relationship. and this week could be a good opportunity to see what’s around, since i was also looking for someone who had a similar faith as i did.

i noticed her right away, almost in midst of these thoughts. this very white girl, seemingly vivid, new in town, very blond. she quickly made friends with someone i knew (bärchen), but i’d never seen her before. soon i was made aware that she and her family were coming from eastern germany, as many people were at the time. and she came to stay. this all started to sound very interesting. and she herself seemed to be quite unique. it didn’t take long to chase isabel away from my dreams, where the brunette had been present for not far from 2 years. jana deutsch was officially the number one on march 31, a saturday. and even more, i leaped into action, obsessed by the idea of make my intentions clear. or at least my admiration –in secret. i decided to write her a little anonymous note and put it into a pocket of her already very legendary blue and pink jacket.

the very next day (yes, april fool’s day), the phone rang during our family worship time. we never pick up at that time, but for some reason, i did. i don’t know, i was just feeling so good about myself, finally doing something. still figuring out what my next step would be before i, one day, would eventually reveal my secret identity. i still had my own private world that no one knew about, and i felt really good about it. and i picked up that phone with no second thoughts. “marcio bei witzig”, i said, as usual. “jana deutsch here”, i hear. and time seemed to stop.

to be continued.

soul of gold

2009-09-20T18:24:00.001+02:00

it was the beginning of 1993. i was 15 years old, in love with a girl called eva, living my last semester in germany, going to 10^th grade. at that time, i was quite into radio and mtv, but i had some fixed musical acts i would listen to, as diverse as vangelis, williams costa jr, michael jackson, mussoursky, besides some current hits like dire straits, lisa stansfield, genesis, sinead o’connor and even some guns’n’roses. but my fixed repertoire of music hearing was divided into three main bands: a-ha, herbert grönemeyer, and most of all, simply red.

then came that last semester in germany. and with it, two musical discoveries; they would both change the way i listened to music, and until today, they are both in my top five favorite music acts. one of them is peter gabriel, and the other is today’s special person, gordon sumner. he is known to most as the band leader of legendary rock-punk-raggae band the police, nicknamed sting since his teen years as a bass player, when he once showed up to play with a horizontally striped, yellow and black sweater. “if i ever lose my faith in you” was my first conscious contact with sting’s music, and it is through mtv (where i would watch the clip with great enthusiasm) that i came to by the max-single, and later, the album it was taken from: ten summoner’s tales. by the beginning of 1994, already living in brazil, i’d bought his earlier work (the dream of the blue turtles, …nothing like the sun, the soul cages), including various specials, like a vhs of the recording sessions in his house in england (ten summoner’s tales). after that, sting had three other studio albums: mercury falling, brand new day, and his last effort, sacred love, from 2003. this last album was the only one i didn’t like so far, but i’m looking forward to his new release, which will be next month (if on a winter’s night). he’ll be 58 at the time of the album release, and hopefully back to top form.

the following songs made it to the top twenty: 20º when we dance, 19º everybody laughed but you, 18º a thousand years, 17º the soul cages, 16º tea in the sahara, 15º seven days, 14º when the angles fall, 13º after the rain has fallen, 12º they dance alone, 11º ghost story

here the list of my top ten favorite sting tunes.

10º shape of my heart – from the ten summoner’s tales album, this beautiful song reminds me of “duetting” it with my younger brother. the beautiful guitar melody, deep lyrics and wonderful melody make it a typical songwriting art work by sting.

9º why should i cry for you? – written after his father’s passing, sting puts lots of emotion into this rhythmic anthem. the “dark angles follow me” is one of my favorite sing-along passages in any song.

8º something the boy said – the last of the ten tales, this song describes a dream. i like the lyrics, and love to sing this one along, too. the “food for a crow” sections at the end are one of the best moments in any sting song.

7º if i ever lose my faith in you – the prologue to the ten summoner’s tales is my official favorite song of all time. the chorus, bridge and last verse are real highlights. my intro to sting’s musical world.

6º the wild wild sea – another dream, again as a reaction to his father’s death in the album “the soul cages”. dark, with a great climax in the album version, and a better end in the unplugged version.

5º i was brought to my senses – one of three top songs from the mercury falling album; great opening and intro to main body, great lyrics, great 7/8 rhythm, great sound. typical song that only sting could compose.

4º the hounds of winter – another one from the mercury falling album. one of my favorite sentences ever in any song: “i still see her face, as beautiful as day”. exceptional lyrics, love the guitar and the mood.

3º i’m so happy i can’t stop crying – the third mercury falling tune. just exceptional songwriting, in country-style. sing-a-long at a high level.

2º fields of gold – simply beautiful, perfect sync between lyrics, music and arrangement. sad and emotional, yet hopeful. reminds me of the summer of 93.

1º island of souls – probably sting’s most complete composition. musically first class, great lyrics, totally unorthodox album opener, interesting and 100% emotional.

the best album is ten summoner’s tales, followed by the soul cages.

big screen specials

2009-09-06T19:50:00.003+02:00

i've been a big fan of movies since my early teen years. and since then, i've been fascinated by some of the female performers. over the years, there have certainly been a few of them who have caught my attention for one reason or another, and i'd like to write about five of them quickly, and the movies that made me become a fan.

people who know me know that i used to be a big jodie foster fan. since i saw her in "catchfire", a b-movie directed by dennis hopper, who is great in that movie, i've followed her career quite closley. yes, i loved her hair, smile and wits, but i really thought she was a great actress; one of the rare cases that made the transition form child star to adult star. i think it is not exaggerated to say that she has been great in most of her movies, mostly these: alice doesn't live here anymore (74, at age 11), taxi driver (76, nominated for oscar), stealing home (88), the accused (88, oscar winner), the silence of the lambs (91, oscar winner), little man tate (91), shadows and fog (91), sommersby (93), maverick (94), nell (94), contact (97), the dangerous lives of the alter boys (2002), panic room (02), inside man (06), the brave one (07). my personal favorites are taxi driver, catchfire, little man tate, sommersby, maverick, nell, and contact. quite a few movies to really put into the top, all with the same female lead. i'm still fond of jodie, but her status as favorite actress has been elsewhere since the year 2000.

this is where natalie portman took over. a typical case of younger and more beautiful, one might think. i actually "fell" for her in 99, drinking soda out of a star wars cup, with her perfect face on it. me and my younger brother were asking ourselves who that was; actually, that day, we went to see star wars episode one - disappointing movie, but what a beautiful princess! later, i rented her older movies and was particularly impressed with her performance in "beautiful girls" (96), which she had shot, also as a child actor, two years after her impressive debut in "leon" (known as "the professional" in the us, shot at age 12). she had quite good performances in "mars attacks!" (96) and "anywhere but here" (99), and also got good reviews for "where the heart is" (2000). i really loved the scene she had in "cold mountain" (03), and loved the movie "garden state" (04), directed by her co-star zac braff, from scrubs. the short movie "true" (04), also featured in "paris je t'aime", is another of my favorite nat performances, and she was really strong in "closer" (04), where the whole cast was very strong. "v for vendetta" (05) is another very good movie with another great performance from the straight-a harvard graduate (psychology), born in israel and living in new york. she was again strong in "goya's ghost" (06) and charming in "mr magorium's wonder emporium" (07), and although the movie was so-so, i liked her in "the other boleyn girl" (08), too. i'm already looking forward to her upcoming work. i've seen pictures from her next movie, "love and other impossible pursuits", she's looking gorgeous. my favorite movie from her still is "beautiful girls", though - followed closley by "garden state".

the other three i want to write about and consider to be quite special are kirsten dunst, jena malone and lately kate winslet.

kirsten i just think is incredibly charming and beautiful, and she has been in quite a few good movies, like "little women" (94, ate the age of 12), "the virgin suicides" (99, beautiful at seventeen), "crazy/beautiful" (01, very charming), the "spider man" movies (a fourth and fifth one coming up), "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" (04, famous dance on the bed), wimbledon (04, movie is so-so, but i love the sport, the tournament and the female lead) and "how to lose friend and alienate people" (08, quite fun).

jena is not as good looking, seemingly, but i find her characters in films very attractive, somehow. not as the younger jodie foster on "contact"(once again at age 12) or in "stepmom" (98), both movies i very much enjoy, by the way. but she was attractive (not only physical, as a character, too) as gretchen ross in "donnie darko" (01), as alyssa beck in "life as a house" (01), and as lydia bennet in "pride & prejudice" (05). i went to see "into the wild" (07) for the first time because she was in the credits, and ended up really loving that movie.

last, but not least, the reigning queen of actresses, academy award winning kate winslet. i remember being excited to see "titanic" (97) long before it became a hit, seeing that it would have leo di caprio (which i had really liked in "what's eating gilbert grape") and kate winslet leading in a movie about a ship and story that had always fascinated me. at the end, the movie was better than its actors, and mostly kate disappointed me a little. she had been really impressive in "heavenly creatures" (94) and "sense and sensibility" a year later. after titanic, i only watched her again in "eternal sunshine", where she went back to becoming one of my favorite actresses - incredible in that role! and what a string of strong movies and performances came after that: "finding neverland" (04), "little children" (06) and even "the holiday" (06). this year, i've seen both her oscar and golden globe movies multiple times. i really loved "the reader" and "revolutionary road", and they are both part of my new blu-ray collection.

just a quick mention of former and current actresses who i consider to be amongst my favorite, during these two decades of movie in my life. in parenthesis, my favorite movie with these actresses. juliette lewis (what's eating gilbert grape, 93), winona ryder (reality bites, 94), evan rachel wood (tv series "once and again", 99-02), katie holmes (pieces of april, 03), jenna fischer (tv series "the office", 05-09), emily vancamp (tv series "everwood", 02-06), demi moore (indececent proposal, 93), tea leoni ("the family man", 2000), and bridget fonda ("singles", 92).

yada yada yada

2009-08-02T00:39:00.001+02:00

The question “What is your favorite TV-sitcom of all time?” is a valid one. I’ll give anyone that. But the question “What is the best TV-sitcom of all time?” only has one possible answers, for many reasons. The answer is Seinfeld.

By the way, it is my favorite, too. Seinfeld ran for nine seasons and was unusual in every sense: type of humor, type of sitcom, even the numbers – it started off anything but a hit, for three long seasons, and went out with a bang, as the number one show in the US. Created by Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David (a.k.a. George Costanza), you just have to see it to love it. I think there is no other more famous small ensemble in the history of TV: Jerry Seinfeld, Elaine Marie Benes, George Costanza and Cosmo Kramer. A total of 180 episodes were produced, and almost all of them were not only funny, but extremely creative, sometimes even innovative – and always with a catchfrase or two of what can be called “Seinlanguage”. By the way, a little known fact: Jerry is the only one to appear in all episodes. Kramer wasn’t in Florida at “The Pen” or at “The Chinese Restaurant”, George was left out of “The Pen”, and Elaine didn’t go to California to visit Kramer on “The Trip”.

My favorite character is a tough one. It’s really difficult, she show wouldn’t work if anyone was missing. But if I had to chose, I guess I would go with Jerry himself (normally the fan dispute is between George and Kramer). But have you ever noticed the secondary characters? Give me another sitcom with this list of non-main characters: Newman, Frank & Estelle Costanza, Uncle Leo, Susan Ross, J Peterman, Kenny Bania, David Puddy, Jackie Chiles – I mean, come on! And these are the recurrent ones. What about some name-dropping on the one-time appearances (ok, they were back in the finale) like “Mulva” (Dolores), the Soup Nazi, Donald Sanger (a.k.a. the Bubble Boy), Llyod Braun, Babu Bhatt, Poppie, The Drake, Sue Ellen Mischke… and we could go on and on.

I did a quick research on the net, looking at 39 top 10 lists of favorite episodes of the “show about nothing”. Not that surprisingly, more than half of the episodes (94 to be exact) were found in someone’s top ten list. I will share the Top 20 with one quote from each episode for Seinfeld fans to recognize… then I will share my own favorite episodes! Just to show you how great the show was, first the name of some classic episodes that didn’t make the cut: “The Chinese Restaurant”, “The Limo”, “The Abstinence”, “The Pen”, “The Chicken Roaster”, “The Sponge”, “The Pick”, and “The Close Talker”, just to name a few. Here we go:

20 – THE PILOT: “Again with the sweatpants?” – “What? I’m comfortable!” – “You know the message you’re sending to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.”

19 – THE CIGAR STORE INDIAN: “Hey, you know what would make a great coffee table book? A coffee table book about coffee tables!”

18 – THE BIZARRO JERRY: “She had man-hands!” – “Would you prefer she had no hands at all?” – “Would she have hooks?” – “Do hooks make it more attractive, Jerry?” – “Kinda cool looking.”

17 – THE PUFFY SHIRT: [talking about George’s hands] “Oh, those are nice. Ya know, I never noticed this before. They’re smooth, creamy, delicate, yet masculine.”

16 – THE MERV GRIFFIN SHOW: “Jerry, now what you do with your personal life is your business. But when you’re on my set, you clean it up mister!”

15 – THE IMPLANT: "Did you just double-dip that chip?" - "Excuse me?" - "You double-dipped the chip." - "Double-dipped? What are you talking about?" - "You dipped the chip, you took a bite, and you dipped again." - "So?" - "That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip. Look, from now on when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it." - "Well, I'm sorry Timmy, but I don't dip that way." - "Oh, you don't, huh?" - "No. You dip the way you want to dip, I'll dip the way I want to dip."

14 – THE SERENITY NOW: "George, letting my emotions out was the best thing I've ever done. Sure, I'm not funny anymore, but there's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations."

13 – THE RYE: "One never knows how the gastrointestinal workings of the equine are going to function."

12 – THE JUNIOR MINT: "I have no medical evidence to back me up, but something happened during the operation that staved off that infection. Something beyond science. Something perhaps from above..." - "Mint?" - "Those can be very refreshing."

11 – THE BETRAYEL: “You're not gonna believe what I got in the mail: invitation to Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding.” – “Well, at least the wedding gown will give her some support.” – “Not the point. The wedding is in one week; I got this today.” – “So you think it's a non-vite.” – “It's an un-vitation.”

10 – THE LIBRARY: "She needs a little tenderness. She needs a little understanding. She needs a little Kramer."

9 – THE PARKING GARAGE: "There's too much urinary freedom in this society. I'm proud to hold it in. It builds character."

8 – THE BOYFRIEND: This one deserves two, since it was a double episode: "I snuck a peak." and: "What kind of a shake does he have?" - "Good shake. Perfect shake. Single pump, not too hard. You know, doesn't have to prove anything, but, you know, firm enough to know he was there."

7 – THE OUTING: "Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

6 – THE BUBBLE BOY: "That's pie country. They do a lot of baking up there." - "They sell them by the side of the road. Blueberry blackberry." - "Blackberry boysenberry." - "Boysenberry huckleberry." - "Huckleberry raspberry." - "Raspberry strawberry." - "Strawberry cranberry." - "Peach."

5 – THE OPPOSITE: "Who are you, George Costanza?" - "I'm the opposite of every guy you've ever met."

4 – THE HAMPTONS: "Do women know about shrinkage?" - "What do you mean, like laundry?" - "No..." - "Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..." - "It shrinks?" - "Like a frightened turtle." - "Why does it shrink?" - "It just does." - "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

3 – THE MARINE BIOLOGIST: "The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."

2 – THE SOUP NAZI: "Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, Scent Of A Woman? Hoo-wah! Hoo-wah!" - "Very good. Very good." - "Well, I ..." - "You know something?" - "Hmmm?" - "No soup for you!" - "What?" - "Come back one year. Next!"

1 – THE CONTEST: "Are you Master of your Domain?" - "I am King of the County. You?" - "Lord of the Manor." - "I'm Queen of the castle!"

My personal Top Ten include The Contest, The Opposite, The Outing, The Boyfriend, The Library, The Merv Griffin Show and for more episodes outside of the Top 20:

THE PEN: "Why do you need more friends? You've got plenty of friends." - "He's an idealist."

THE DEAL: "You ask me to have lunch, tell me you slept with Elaine, and then say you're not in the mood for details. Now you listen to me. I want details and I want them right now. I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well you get in the mood!" – this is my favorite episode!

THE VOICE: "Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can't do it in one push. You gotta rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over."

THE STAKEOUT: "C'mon, there will be people to mock."

There we go. If you have any favorite characters, episodes, secondary characters or quotes on Seinfeld, please do share!

happy birthday

2009-07-25T19:56:00.000+02:00

today is an important day. and it is every year. you’ve guessed it, it’s someone’s birthday. someone quite vital to me celebrates another year in their life. someone i’m lucky to be able to call my mother.
you have to know that my mother is quite the hero. she’s been through a lot in her life; many countries; many experiences, good and bad; many turns in life; many hopes, disappointments, fulfilling, realizations, frustrations – and still a good deal of dreams.
mãezinha is and will always be very important to me. she is one of those people that, no matter what she says or does, will always be a big influence in my life, more than she might imagine. the years we (my brothers, she and me) spent together between 81 and 85 will always be very decisive for the way i view things, like life, even love, and all the other mysteries.
i’ve seen her grow in wisdom, knowledge, patience, love – and i know that his will continue to happen. but some things never change – she will always miss her kids. hope we see each other again soon, before your next birthday!
happy birthday mãezinha!

this is it!

2009-06-26T05:15:00.001+02:00

the first time a remember really listening to a michael jackson tune was probably in 1987. our neighbor jörg völker was listening to “i just can’t stop loving you”, and i guess some not so conscious memories came back. i’d known michael’s music since my year in the us, but it was only then that i became a fan. a fan of a musical genius, unique in any way, even musically speaking. with the help of his “big brother” quincy jones, he set new standards in pop music, with incredible grooves, great singing and dancing quality, and a creativity almost unlimited; this is hard to understand today, because so much in the music and entertainment industry has used michael jackson’s legacy as a draft – but when he came up with the stuff, there was no one doing it before.

to me, his death is kind of strange, as was his life. strange in the sense that it was tragic, just as his life – he was about to do shows called “this is it” to end his career, maybe even on a high note. just the way he started it, back in the jackson 5 days, literally with high notes and a beautiful voice. his solo efforts at the time, like “ben”, “music and me” and “got to be there” were even more successful than the gig with his brothers, so nothing more natural than going solo all the way, with the career starting “off the wall”, at the age of 19. i discovered this album for real only in the early nineties, more than a decade after its release. the first track, “don’t stop ‘til you get enough”, is already a show cast of his talent to make danceable music – and always so well sung, with lots of energy. his romantic side is displayed in the ballad “she’s out of my life”, where he started his tradition of crying in at least one track of each album. my personal favorite of this album is “i can’t help it”, really well sung and groovy as only he can be.

and then came thriller. near to 60 million copies sold, making this the most selling album of all times. and never was it more deserving: starting out with another long dance track, “wanna be startin’ somethin’ ” – no one could do that, make it groove the way it does. mamassê mamassa mamacussa, bmfd! then, after two tracks i’m not too fond of, comes maybe the best sequence ever in a recorded album: “thriller”, best and most groundbreaking video of all time. “beat it”, where the still black king of pop puts in new elements that are so no motown, like eddie van halen’s guitar solo. “billie jean”, which besides being a great tune was also the basis for the first moonwalk in history (1983), followed by “human nature”, great song and always superb interpretation. it closes with “lady in my life”, a song which reminds me of my summer crush priscila reis, new year’s eve 1992.

when i started listening to michael, “bad” had been out only a few months. “liberian girl” ironically will always be connected to a girl i really liked in 1990, jana deutsch. ironic because she looks as german as it can get, and even has “german” in her surname. “the way you make me feel” with the famous line “you knock me off my feet now baby, hiiiii” is a classic, just like michael’s high pitch voice, heavy breathing, “hick-ups” and “hi-his” – and let’s not forget the “hooooos”. “another part of me” and “dirty diana” (another rocky song), in which he sings really well (imagine him singing that in the studio) will always remind me of my good friend raphael sanz; my favorite song of the album and his whole work is track seven: “man in the mirror” with it’s incredible ending. “anna are you okay” has one of the greatest videos ever.

i watched the live premiere of “black or white” on mtv, and wasn’t too impressed by the track, after so many years of waiting for my first new michael jackson album. but “dangerous” proved to be the album i’ve most listened to, to date. thanks to tracks like “jam” and “dangerous”, on the dancy side, “remember the time” and sometimes even “heal the world”… and i even got used to “black and white”. but my favorite part of this album is the latter part, starting right after the hit song about races: “who is it”, just michael jackson at his best, and unique to him; “give in to me”, great guitars (slash) and singing; “will you be there”, the first of two gospel-like songs, and my favorite track on this album. “keep the faith”, with an incredible ending part; and the beautiful ballad “gone too soon”.

i don’t want to go into the controversy so much. just want to put on record that he is solely responsible for all the gossip and scandals, because of his always more than peculiar behavior and clear strangeness – in short, the genius was and has always been a perfect nut job. he did not take advantage of any kids, that’s for sure, at least to me… he’s just crazy enough to think that everything is and was totally innocent. it is also a shame that musically, he didn’t produce much good, although i know my brothers will disagree with me here. his next cd, “history” (i mean, come on, what a name!), very well produced as all of his work always was, always the highest quality possible and mostly defining what that was for musicians to come. i like “stranger in moscow” and “little susie”, basically. and i haven’t even listened to “invincible”, didn’t give it a chance.

but he is still the greatest, not because of his impressive 750 millions of albums sold, but because of his unique style, bold creativity – just for being michael jackson.

his death to me is different than some other famous deaths (senna, diana, etc.), because michael, the human, was never very real to me anyway. it is michael, the musician and entertainer that is a legend of his own, and that michael will never die. so, even finishing up with the biggest possible cliché at this point: the king is dead, long live the king!

class of 2009 - last, but certainly not least!

2009-06-12T17:19:00.000+02:00

tabea höfig and shreya chauhan are the last individuals i will talk about in this series. a german who lived in china, and an indian who lived in germany. this is only a small part of the internationalism that these two represent so well. hindu religion, catholic religion. different viewpoints, high intelligence, and respect for humanity is what unites these two.

shreya has been here only half a year, and still was able to make a lasting impression and leave her mark, culminating with her deserved induction to nhs a few days ago. tabea has been here only a year longer, and she too will be missed because of her many versatile qualities – the most important one is to be able to think by herself, really think – and act! tabea and her family are a little bit of germany nostalgy for me, and it has been a pleasure to be in contact with them.

so, shreya, all the best to you! and tabea, you’ll be missed! it has been a pleasure, now go and conquer california for germany! ;)

class of 2009 - excellent!

2009-06-02T21:27:00.001+02:00

excellent students. yes, i guess at least at chapel, the school i work for, there is no doubt about it: victor chen(ster) and fabio ussher(man) belong into that character. but it is no secret that they are much more than that.

fabio is very determined. he always knows what he wants, and he does his very best to achieve it. but his actual strength is his character. always respecting of others, he always does what he believes to be right, and his principals make him trustworthy in a world where trusting is becoming more and more difficult.

while fabio is a strong tennis player (as many of “my math hl boys”), victor, who also plays some tennis, is the more musical one. he plays quite a nice guitar (so does rodrigo, i hear); but he is more notable not only as a hard worker, but as a fine person, helpful and polite, strong in character. he has a positive ambition about him, and i just hope he finds true fulfillment and happiness.

victor and fabio – friends for quite a while now. and excellent people. i’m sure i’ll hear nice things about them in the future. not positions, power or money, but testimonials like this one: about two good human beings!

class of 2009 - physics & math

2009-05-27T18:46:00.002+02:00

the word is sweet. even talking about these two representatives of the male gender, using the word sweet doesn’t need to have any other connotation than the obvious one: two people who show high respect towards others, are always trying to be at good spirits, are polite and would never do anything to offend anyone on purpose.

this is where the similarities between roberto sfeir, my physics student, and bruno chung, my math student, ends. roberto has many qualities, some of them quite rare: he is very perseverant, sets himself high goals and always tries to do everything in his power to achieve them. ambitious is the adjective for that, i suppose. he is warm and cares about others, likes to be helpful and is a very grateful soul.

bruninho is more the lazy genius type. he has great reasoning, and inidivual way of approaching problems, and is generally very independent in his thinking and values. enthusiastic when his interest is sparked (and only then, ;), he is certainly capeable of great thoughts and things. i hope that he finds something in life that will interest him so much that it just sucks out oll of his potential – in a positive way, of course!

so roberto, be happy! life is not always easy, but it is good and has its rewards, as you know; continue to be physics - the practical, applied type! and bruno, don’t forget to look for your happiness; the positive attitude that you have inside will help you with that! stay true to being math - the thinker, rational yet emotional. i’m rooting for both of you, that’s for sure.

class of 2009 - passion & corinthians

2009-05-21T20:35:00.001+02:00

passion for a club. i think that’s the first thing that comes to mind when i think of gerry mendoza. this mexican’s heart doesn’t root for cruz azul, chivas or america… it totally belongs to sc corinthians paulista, which i’m sure he’ll never abandon. other things he’ll likely be in 20 years from now: determined, polite, social, leading something somewhere, trustworthy, charismatic, a little shy in the beginnings and a man with true relationships in his life. and, be sure, he will be admired.

another corintiano has been my physics student for two years now. lucas parolin (oh parolina) is a very happy fan, and so passionate about sports that his career dream is to write about it, travel after it and live from it. by the way, little commercial break: www.blogdosmanos.com, a blog with amateur sport journalism. back to lucas… he won’t be needing physics and math in his life, so he claims, but he will need that wit of his. and i’m sure he’ll find ways to reach his full potential in things that are important to him. and i hope to read from him, someday!

one comment to both of you: copa do brasil has a name written on it, this year: internacional!

class of 2009 - all smiles!

2009-05-20T19:02:00.000+02:00

have you ever met one of those people who are basically always smiling – for no reason whatsoever, or for all the possible reasons? thomas maia and souza is one of those, for sure. a competition lover, thomas never seems too upset about anything – not even when his beloved palmeiras fails to win titles, time and time again. thomas loves to be kind and charming, as his good friend chelsea schmitt knows quite well.

she is quite different from him, though. although she also loves fun, she is very responsible, dedicated, ambicious and hard working; not that thomas isn’t… J! chelsea likes to read in class, is never shy to take leadership roles and is committed to everything she does – which can sometimes be a special truth. what unites these two are mainly two things: their high sense for justice and well being of others, and their positive anxiousness about things to come in their respective future colleges. i just hope they’re as happy as they are today. but you just know that both will be fine – in their own special way!

class of 2009 - the pirate & the wizard

2009-05-20T13:33:00.002+02:00

it’s someone’s birthday today. for me, he will be remembered as the giant pirate, seemingly loyal to a fall, wise, yet not exactly the extrovert type. a fan of his home team, santa fé (colombia), santiago osorio is one of the many tennis players and fans in the math hl class. andre and leo, if you’re reading this, he reminds me of kiki. always in a good mood, sharp sense of humor, intelligent. someone you just really just have the best wishes for. so, happy birthday to him, and happy college life! and don't stop using that pirate outfit...

another tennis fan and player is rodriguinho ribeiro. a good enough reason to like him is that he is constantly using a germany sweatshirt… but rodrigo has other qualities that make him distinctive: very smart and witty, fast with his mouth and his mind; funny and fun to make fun of, seemingly… . he has grown up with some of his classmates, and they seem to stick together even in boston – good luck with that, i say! i know that rodrigo will be successful at anything he really puts his mind and heart to, and i hope he does! still want to play you in a tennis match before you go… . ah, i should mention – he is a math wiz! and a person with a gigantic heart.

class of 2009 - marathon men

2009-05-18T16:00:00.001+02:00

respect. from the fourteen seniors i’m teaching this year, there are two who deserve respect, for a very special reason: mr gonçalves overdosis. naoya urita and marcelo jacob were my physics students in a day 2, c period class last school year; and then i started subbing and later took over the math hl year 1 class – also on a day 2, d period.

for those who are reading and don’t know what this means: naoya and marcelo had me as a teacher every other day, from 8:00-11:40, with only a twenty minute break. almost four hours, and not once, but actually half of all school days! this year, i see them every day in the afternoon, and every other day in the morning. adding everything up, they will have experienced my presence for almost 600 hours in these two years – that’s just too much for any student to stand!

i myself have appreciated their presence quite a lot. i’ve gotten to know naoya to be a very bright, sensitive, polite person, just a good person to talk to, exchange ideas with. he’ll be remembered by me for many reasons – the most annoying one is a connection i made between his name and the “happy birthday” song (naoya-êê), but it will make him totally unforgettable in the future. which i’m glad about, since he has those personal qualities cited above, and is a warm person, always ready to offer a smile.

i was moved by marcelo’s warm side over a year ago, when he organized the class to buy me the fifa manager 2008 pc game. his opinions on sports, mostly good contributions in physic class, good sense of humor and athletic ability is what i will remember of him. i hope he continues to develop into this good-hearted, thinking and leading human he seems to be transforming into, as a student. and that he one day may come to understand that são paulo f.c. is quite a fine organization, that maybe will get near to what bayern munich already is... one day!

class of 2009 - year 1

2009-05-18T14:45:00.003+02:00

i’ve been a teacher for a few years now. since 1994 i've taught in some form, since 2000 I’ve been in high school classrooms. only for two years, i was out of the classroom, in my position as guidance counselor. but being in class is what i really love, even more so if i appreciate the students.

my second full year at chapel (chapelschool.com) is ending, and once again, students will be leaving school. last year, i only taught two seniors, both very special to me: henrique turra, simply a good person, talented and musical, and very smart; and silvia carvalho, a very sweet and charming person, hard working and intelligent.

this year, things are different. fourteen of my current students are leaving school, and i will post a series on the class of 2009, two by two; for those good with numbers, yes, it will be an eight-part series, with this initial post.

intitial post, because i did teach two other students that will graduate this year, but are not currently in any of my classes. it was a very pleasant year with nicole assad and daniela haidar, last year, physics. i really appreciated them trying to get into the subject and get something out of it, and i hope they did. but I will remember both for their kindness and authentic style, thinkers rather than repeaters. and they have one of those nice friendships that go back quite a long time, and hopefully surviving the certainty of future physical distance. good luck and happiness to both of you!

last year, i also had the pleasure to teach two totally different characters, who are united in the fact that neither of them still goes to chapel, but both of them are surely a part of this class of 09. ethan safford, always the philosopher, questioner, thinker, and sometimes sleeper. the first class i ever taught at chapel, in august of 2007, was marked by his very interesting comments and points of view. although he considered a "d" to be a good enough grade, i will always respect him for his ideas and independent thinking, and like him for his honesty and truthfulness. to him, also all the best!

the other student i don’t have the pleasure to teach any more is gabriela melo, a very smart and organized girl. she seemed to enjoy not being the center of attentions, and really valued her friends – and i guess this hasn’t changed back in chile. and she is certainly one of those people who have a great depth not always apparent to the eye – but you just know that she has the capacity of thinking about things in a way that, when you can get the information out of her, the surprise is always pleasant. she is missed, and brings back good memories.

unglaubliche unbekannte

2009-05-02T01:20:00.003+02:00

there are all kinds of special people. the ones you know really well (i’ve talked about a few of them), the ones you don’t know at all, at least personally (some of them have been mentioned here, too) – and there are the ones you know almost nothing about, but you’d be curious to get to know them.

the reasons here vary. the most obvious reason would be if it is someone from the opposite sex that, for some reason, catches your attention – and you get hungry to know that person better. but many other situations can make you feel that you would really get to know this or that person better, to be friends with that person.

i still remember it very clearly. summer 1994. on a ferry going to england. i looked up, and there she was; it's incredible how the image is still clear in my head. this girl. dark hair, not too long, not too short, very "wusch". white skin, black and white pullover, striped. the canal behind her, the hair in her wind. i know this sounds a little on the over-romantic side, and it isn't supposed to be. but i remember the strong feeling of wanting to know that person - know who she is, how she thinks, how she views the world. this desire to know someone you've just seen for the first time. i repeat, i wasn't in love with her (love at first sight... hmmmm, i don't know about that, generally speaking), but if we had met and i had fallen in love with her later on, i could've said that i knew from the first moment. she wasn't that beautiful or anything, she just seemed to be so breathtakingley interesting. but, what are you gonna do? i didn't want to flirt, i wanted to get to know. there is a difference, a big one. and it makes it kind of tough to do anything about it, as probably an approaching would be interpreted as exactly what it isn't supposed to be....

sometimes it’s a tough position to be in. you want to know the person, but does the person want anything to do with you? often enough, they do. you should try it.

i guess i’ve done this a few times in my life, and the results were different. i remember wanting to get to know alessandra moreira in 1994. my second semester in boarding school, she was known to all my friends, because she had been at the school two years earlier, and now was returning to graduate with the friends she made that year. i met her for the first time in one of the first friday evenings (always special at IASP, the school) of the year – and i immediately wanted to get to know her. in this case, there was no romantic interest, i just thought her to be specially positive, nice charisma. i sought to get to know her, and we actually became pretty good years for quite a few years. i guess we still like each other today, but i haven’t heard from her for years.

edson nunes was a person like that to me, too. i got to know him a little when we played in a brass quartet (3 saxophones and 1 tuba) for a few months, and he really was a person i admired and looked up to. a person i really wanted to know more, chat off ideas with, sometimes just hang. that year, 1999, ended up being a special one, that i will always remember as a quartet of people hanging out quite a lot: edson, didio, leo and me. i’m glad to say that we are still good friends and that my appreciation of him has only grown.

two years earlier, i met a girl in a bus. actually, she attended that boarding school i had left in 1995, and the bus was full of tom de vida (vocal group) people i knew – but i didn’t know her. we talked nonstop for a good 90 minutes. and from then on, i wanted to know her more and more. it’s really not that i fell in love with her, but she fascinated me, and talking to her made me feel alive. a few months after that first talk, i toured with tom de vida for a few weeks, with the bus to the north east of brazil. this girl… she was something; complicated, i might say! we would talk every day (my initiative, but she didn’t seem to mind…), but the next day it was like we’d never met. but things did get better and progress over those weeks, and at the end i was asking myself if this minor obsession with this girl might be more than just a friendship. audrey ended up being my first official girlfriend, and there will be articles about her posted in here; because more than that, she is, until today, one of my greatest friends and most special people i know.

the person that best fits the discription, though, is a very special and small lady. i had devolped a curiosity towards getting to know her for over a year, and i was kind of giving up on the idea, until an opportunity presented itself. i took advantage of the opportunity, and marla and me became very familiar to each other in very little time. i must say that this might have been the most intense relationship i've had with a person (not romantic, people, just relationship) in my whole life. and it was all the more special because i had wanted to know her for such a long time, and she turned out to be much more than i had imagined. although later on, the boy-girl stuff did get in the middle of it, i wouldn't trade those months for anything.

right now, there is a person that i’m very curious about. i would love to get to know her better, you know, just know her better? admiring from a distance has been my specialty since i was a little kid, but since i came to brazil, i have learned to admire from near. who knows, maybe i’ll admire this new person from nearer, soon.

that british girl from the ferry (somehow i felt she was british), i called her "unglaubliche unbekannte" in my head, that day. the name stuck. but nowadays i wouldn't mind getting rid of the "unbekannte" part.

bayern's heart - and where it comes from!

2009-04-15T21:00:00.003+02:00

half a year after i was born, he opened his eyes and cried. born in brasilia, still only completing its 18 years, this fine human being has been in my life for 10 years now. when i first moved down to rio grande do sul, south brazil, this then 21 year old young guy had been in porto alegre since he was 17. he came to my attention when a change was announced – a change in life for him. he was about to get a better job, better paid, more competitive, and it would bring him forward in the pursuit of a good career. lucio decided to leave his club, internacional, to continue to play football professionally in germany. lucio went to bayer leverkusen, the most brazilian club in the german bundesliga. he went to learn, but even at young age, he was a natural leader. and he was a special player.

lucio: “it was here [at an evangelical church in brasilia] that I realized my need of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and committed my life to following him. being a christian has helped my football career and given me more discipline and success.

becoming a christian brought about a total change in my life. before i knew Jesus i did not have a disciplined life. i had low self-esteem. i did not have confidence in the things that i did day by day. today i don’t only want to walk with the Lord, but also, be more disciplined and persevere towards my objectives.

when things don’t work out, i don’t understand it but after it is over, i regard it as a work of the Lord in my life guarding me, protecting me and keeping me for the big future blessings. anyone who thinks that he has everything and doesn’t have Jesus has nothing. the one who has Jesus has happiness and peace. with Jesus in your heart you need have no fear. that is the person who has everything in life. i think that is most important.”

lucio is quite a good example of the influence that Christ can have in one’s life. he is one of the rare footballers who actually practice their faith on the field. and his success, which he gladly passes on, has proved him right. it is the success of someone who lets himself be humbly guided by the Superior Being. and what a success!

at age 24, at the end of two full seasons with bayer leverkusen, lucio reached a high point of his life. playing with the likes of ballack, zé roberto, and neuville, lucio reached the final of the champions league with his team, after scoring a spectacular goal against manchester united in the semifinal. although his team lost to real madrid in the final (their last european title with a memorable goal by zinedine zidane), lucio scored in that final. that summer, he went on to be one of only three brazilian players to be on the field every single minute for the world cup title in south korea / japan 2002. he then moved on to bayern münchen, my favorite team, and has played a vital role. he is now captain of the brazilian national team, vice-captain of the bayern munich team, and when he isn’t on the field, something is missing. not only his great abilities as a defender (almost no fouls in his games, great tackling), but he is strong offensively and he is the heart of the team, always pushing the team forward through words and deeds. last week, at the shameful 0x4 defeat at nou camp, against the local team fc barcelona, lucio missed the game due to injury. yesterday evening, though, he had a great game, and helped bayern to a respect worthy 1x1 draw against the currently best team in the world.

i’ll let lucio close with his favorite bible text and his personal comment:

“there is a passage in psalm 1 that says: "blessed is the man who refuses evil advice and will not follow sinners or join in sneering at God. he is like a tree growing beside a stream which produces fruit in season." i think this verse reflects my life because everything happened at the right moment. i also had that discernment of the Lord and His guidance in keeping me from sneering at God. i think that it is important in the life of the professional football player to know that there is only one road that is secure. that road is Jesus.“

lucio, you are appreciated.

summer camps

2009-03-28T19:05:00.001+01:00

this is a short entrance just to get the writing going again. i don’t know if you’ve ever had the privilege to go on any summer camp, something quite traditional in the US, i believe. when i lived in germany, i went to five summer camps: 1986 in the south of germany (diepholzburg), and every year from 1989 on. most of the time, i already knew some people when i got there, from my home town or from other events, but this is a list of memorable people i got to know at these summer camps.

need i say that those three weeks were usually the best ones in the year? i mean, around 50 people your age, day-to-day, activities, sports, competitions, music, worship – it is very special and maybe someday my kids will have the same privilege.

in 1986, i remember meeting two people for the first time: the very cute sonja dörr and obi, whose real name is andreas nahrstedt. me and my brothers (mostly my older one) would see sonja every year after that, in harpstedt, a little town in north germany where around 150 young people would camp every year near june. and obi would be in three out of the next four summer camps i went to, he taught me how to hit the ball in table tennis.

in 1989, i was in speele, right in the middle of germany, next to the river fulda. i made friends with holger roth, with whom i played table tennis and football quite a lot. the kid who slept in mine and leo’s room is also quite unforgettable, although i don’t remember his name! in those double beds, he always wanted to sleep on top; but there was no protection, and every single night, he fell. he was kind of fat, so we woke up every night with him falling more than a meter to the ground, but he insisted in sleeping up there. at the last night, someone left the big drawer under the bed open, and he fell with his head first right on the border – hole in head, hospital. tragic, but somehow funny. he survived, of course… . silvia wilhelm is to be mentioned here to, a year later she became my first pen pal. and melanie, a great football player and seemingly nice person. and of course, matze dolenc, who became a constant friend in summer camps and harpstedt camps. i even went to his house for a few days a few years later.

in 1990, it was eisenberg, the best summer camp of all. i knew most of the people who were there already, but from those i met there, probably inka pursche is the one i remember the most. she made friends with my friends bärchen and jana, and i though she was cute. even more memorable, though, was the “helper” tom, who really was an inspiration to me, some kind of a role model.

1991, it was holland: huis ter heide. the first person i noted there was jessy, a really good looking brunette with nice hair. rüdiger, from berlin, became one of my better buddies at that time. verena jancke is also memorable (quite cute), and so were the friends holger and björn, really funny and older than most of us (so we looked up to them). but the most important people i got to know there, in this not so brilliant summer for me, were the three most important people i ever got to know on any summer camp; they will have a post of themselves (or more), so here just the names: anne pfarrkircher, adrienne jäschke and inga bendig.

1992, back to eisenberg. it was my last summer camp, and probably the least exciting. no new people, but a good amount of old acquaintances.

just a last fact: two of these summer camps were with my younger brother leo (89/92), two with my older brother andre (86/90) , one alone (91) – and none with all of us three!

sports? michael!

2009-02-03T19:10:00.000+01:00

the day before yesterday, i played my first best of five match of tennis in over half a year. i had bought myself a new racquet, new tennis shoes… ready to get back on the court, for good. last time i had played was against my cousin kley, with whom i hope to have some regular match ups after july this year. i was victorious by the way – against kley. yesterday, fabio ussher, a really special person, beat me 6x0,6x1,6x0… for next match, my goal is to win one game per set!
by the way, yesterday was another of those thrilling matchups between federer and nadal, which the spaniard won once again, after a long fight. the tennis they have been playing the last couple of years is something i’ve never seen before. and i’ve been watching and playing tennis for a long time.
it was 1988. one year earlier, a 17 year old boris becker had entered a grand slam tournament for the first time, in wimbledon. and he won the championships, as they are called in the uk, making history and continuing a tennis boom in germany that had started with the rise of steffi graf, a young german who was threatening navratilova’s kingdom. but in that year, 1988, becker repeated his Wimbledon success before the eyes of a whole nation, while steffi won the historical golden grand slam – all four grand slam open tournaments in the same year (only woman to do that) and even the gold medal in south korea. tennis was all over the tv, and soon, i was playing tennis myself. but i was not a becker fan (more of a steffi fan), kind of looking for a german to root for. at that time, i was already reading kicker and sport bild, the two biggest sport magazines in the country, and once i looked at the tennis world ranking – and found a german called michael stich at position 81. the city behind his name was, for some reason, munich (obviously a mistake, because he was actually born north of hamburg), and for that simple reason, i became a fan. even more so, as i saw interviews with this very intelligent and kind person, different from boris, who was more of a not-so-clever star with a great heart. note, i didn’t dislike becker, but i became a stich fan very early. little could i know about what was to come.
in 1991, it was time for wimbledon again. becker was playing well once again, in his living room, as he would say – the grassy center court in north london, getting brown after each competition day. but this guy, stich, was still in the tournament at the quarter-final stage – and, incredibly, advanced to the semifinal, to face the then reigning champ stefan edberg (sweden), who had won the tournament three times and was considered becker’s great rival in wimbledon. i was watching, as almost the whole country was, to see if the dark haired stich could follow the blond becker into the final – and make it a historical day for tennis-crazed germany. stich lost the first set 4x6, but won the tiebreaker in the second set… the tiebreaker in the third set… and the tiebreaker in the fourth set! at the end, it was a 4x6,7x6,7x6,7x6 thriller. to make things even better, graf won the title the next day, but i was looking forward to the sunday final: “my” michael stich, now well known in germany, against good old (21 years old, but so experienced) boris becker. the underdog against the shiny star. kind of a piquet against senna, in terms of popularity. it was a day to remember. there was only one break in the whole final – but stich, once again nerves of steel, managed to win it 7x6,6x4,7x6 – a totally uneasy 3x0 win, making him the name of the day!
stich never got to number one in the rankings (he made number two), and he had quite a few other good moments in his career – like victories over pete sampras (one of the few players to have a positive record against the man who has won more grand slam events than any other in history), two year-ending world championships, finals in australian open and us open, davis cup titles with germany, a historical doubles-win in wimbledon alongside john mcenroe (last set 19-17) and a gold medal in the 1992 barcelona olympics – alongside boris becker, in the doubles.
in 1997, stich announced his retirement right before the wimbledon tournament. he hadn’t been to successful anymore, and his motivation seemed low – he wanted to try doing other things with his life. i tuned into that wimbledon, a tournament that had always motivated him – and incredibly enough, he made it into the semifinal! cheered by a crowd that never forgets its champions, even more so if they are decent human beings, he had a thrilling five set encounter with frenchman fabric santoro, and even defended match points in the fourth set with extremely courageous one-handed backhand return winners. but it was not to be. in front of a great crowd, on a great friday afternoon, his then wife jessica (very charming) saw him end his career. it was a great moment in sports and a great moment for me. stich had been a special person to me, and until today is in a short list of my absolute favorite sportsman of all time.
almost twelve years later. german tennis boom is gone. there are good players (schüttler, kiefer, haas, kohlschreiber), bit it’s nothing compared to the golden nineties. i still love the sport, though. i guess i owe most of that to becker and graf – but the special person in that sport for me was michael stich.

myth (iv) - six mythical episodes

2009-01-30T23:10:00.001+01:00

i rarely saw eva tüting downtown lüneburg. the only place I would ever see her was at school. and I would make the most of it. as me, she would also take the bus in the winter, but ride a bike in the summer. sure enough, i rapidly found out which bike was hers, and i would always put mine only a row away from hers (there was quite a big bike parking lot at my school), sometimes even on the same row. after school, i would sometimes wait for her to go. our path “together” was only around 300 m, then she took a right, while i went straight ahead. approaching summer time, once again i saw her after school. she was wearing her famous blue dress with white flowers. and i made a decision… i would stalk her a little bit! i let her go a little but in front of me, then i left school to. i drove a little behind her, but always faster (i just wouldn’t slow down), so very soon i had passed her. i then slowed down a little, cycled another 1,5 km of her path, and waited for her at the corner of munstermannskamp and uelzener str. there, she took a right, and i watched her drive away. then i took a left and went home. that day, i drove a total of 9 km home, a full kilometer longer than normal. or, one can say, only one km longer. because it was totally worth it; the image of eva riding a bike, especially in that dress, with her dark blond reddish wusch hair in the wind, and the dress only showing her beautiful feet… it was so worth it that i repeated this quite a few times after that day. and i’m very sure she never noticed – they never did…
two years before this spring of 93, i had been in love with anja. i would see her in the city occasionally, so i was always alert to the possibility. but with eva, it never happened. i knew there was a possibility, after all she did go to the music school. but not on a day i would be there, seemingly. anyway, my heart almost stopped once, almost in the summer, when i spottet her in the grosse bäckerstrasse. i was on the way to saxophone class, and there she was – also in a typical outfit of hers, green jeans and a grey t-shirt. i had no reaction – i was late to class and almost walking away, but then i went back – and she had vanished, nowhere to be found. still, i remember that episode quite well.
in the beginning of the summer, i went to a concert where leo’s “ensemble of old music” performed. actually, it wasn’t leo’s, it was reinhard tüting’s, eva’s father and leo’s viola da gamba teacher. the performance was in kloster lüne, a very old and small chapel right outside of lüneburg, which belonged to a monastery complex. her hair was getting longer at that time, just beautiful and perfect hair, almost shoulder-long now. herr tüting even asked me to activate and deactivate the recorder, since they were taping the concert. so i sat in the first row, and even though i was so near, it was almost impossible to take my eyes off of her. fresh memories of the magical moments in the musikschule open day came alive, and the music – the music was wonderfully old, in this little, old chapel. memorable evening, to say the least. and at recess, i even mingled with the musicians (since leo was back there, at that time he was 13 years old) and saw her then. don’t quite remember what she was wearing, though. but still a magical memory.
finally, a few days later, we went to her city of deutsch-evern, where there would be a concert. now, i had been to deutsch-evern earlier that year to visit a school friend immo and play tennis with him. he and heidje, another school colleague, where next door neighbors, not too far away from where eva lived and her parents still live. i was very aware of the fact that i was in deutsch-evern, and was very alert – but i didn’t see eva. this time i would, for sure. and, there she was. black and white striped summer sweater, brownish jeans, lovely as ever, beautiful is not even word enough. this time, she had her hair tied up to a pony tail, a style that i had come to appreciate a lot since jana in 1990. i really can’t explain this infatuation i had for eva, but i’d never looked at anyone that way, and i never have since. meaning that this beauty, and this totally includes her way of being, behavior, smile… this beauty is something out of this world. i mean, i’m quite sure that even today i would find her to be a gorgeous woman… you never know, just a hinch.
in light of all that i have written about eva, this piece of story seems to me the most… i don’t know… mystical? no, but, really strange. as i think is clear, i never got to know eva, and she didn’t even know who i was. she studied in a class with bärchen, my first female best friend, and jana, my first adolescent love story (which will be told one of these days). they were best friends and, like me, christians in the adventist church. that year, although i was still 15, i would already attend the youth meetings of our church, and so would they. one day, though, i went to another town to listen to a speaker we all liked in our family; and i was very excited to go there. and it was great and memorable. the following week, i was back at our youth meetings, and i registered that they had taken the annual picture. a pity that i wasn’t on it, i thought. i looked at it… and, i swear, i can’t even describe the feeling. it was simply unbelievable: eva tüting was on the picture!!!! i wasn’t, but somehow she was!!! soon i found out that bärchen and jana had invited her and another friend, and they stayed the whole afternoon and evening. and i even had to hear marco telling me that she was really cute and that he talked to her for a while. marco and me weren’t big friends any more, and he knew nothing about eva – only raphael did. but it was even worse to know that she was noticed… after all, she belonged to my little world, and for some time now! this would have been a realistic and natural opportunity to get to know her – i mean, she knowing leo and me knowing her father and all, for sure we would have talked and maybe even been sympathetic. it was so damn frustrating to see that picture, it was a major blow. i even wrote to andre about it, he was in brazil (iasp) at that time. but, must i saw that she looked just like her? and that striped white and black sweater that she used a few months later in the deustch-evern concert, that’s the one on the picture. at that time, i would never dare to get to know someone in an unnatural way… but the fact that she was there, in my world, in the youth group, the only day i wasn’t… it’s a mystery!
fast forward to the summer, school vacations had arrived, and so had andre. we were walking at am sande when i spotted eva from quite far – she was wearing another one of her (for me) trade mark outfits – the blue jeans, blue jacket outfit. and walking away. one of her rare appearances in the city, and already at a time where school was out. this was the last time i saw her before going to brazil myself – for at least half a year, possibly a full year. and that moment was special, because on my return, we would have moved to berlin. this would maybe be the last time i would ever see her again, and at the time, i really believed that.

vacations - places and people

2009-01-27T21:22:00.009+01:00

from december 24, 2008 to january 22, 2009 i had the pleasure to be back in the european winter after sixteen years. it was cold (negative temperatures almost every day), and it was incredible. 14 of these 29 days i was happy to be at my parent's, mostly in basel. i did do some travelling, mostly to see friends and family.

the most special places i went to were: being on the aguille du midi, at 3842 m, viewing the mont blanc (january 9); seeing lüneburg and adendorf (january 12); and being inside of the fritz-walter-stadion in kaiserslautern to see my beloved bayern (january 19, not to be forgotten!).

the most special people were, doubtless, my parents (highlights: a trip to the alps at grindelwald, near interlaken, in december 28; and the very pleasant visit to bodensee and marc's family on january 18), the days with inga in bremen (december 29 to january 1), seeing mareike and tobias in darmstadt (january 11) and dining with michi in stuttgart (january 14). bill showing me around (january 8: montreux, martigny, lausanne), a day with nana (january 21) and the always special visit at the tanten (january 13) were some more of many, many highlights. special mentions for being able to see and talk to frau strube, our neighbor in memeler weg days, at the end of the emotional day in lüneburg/adendorf, and for being able to talk to raphael sanz, whilst getting to know the beautiful nürnberg (january 15).

here is my trip. ch is switzerland, d is germany and f is france.

special places:
basel (ch), bremen (d), darmstadt (d), konstanz (d), lausanne (ch), lörrach (d), ludwigsburg (d), luzern (ch), neuchatel (ch), stuttgart (d)

very special places:
adendorf (d), chamonix-mont-blanc (f), colmar (f), geneva (ch), hamburg (d), jungfraujoch (d), kaiserslautern (d), lavey-les-bains (ch), lüneburg (d), martigny (ch), montreux (ch), nürnberg (d), stein am rhein (ch)

family:
pa & mãezinha, conny, gunther, sebastian & raphael witzig, tante maja & tante hannelore, cornelia, winnie & larissa küsel, benny & tati tscheuschner

special people:
bendigs (hevi, detlef & jared), derrick, elodie, grazi, manuel, miriam, newton, niclaas, raphaël, herr reincke, rickson & family, schlonz, tota & family, vera, wanderlei

very special people:
bill, inga, marc & alma with kids, mareike, michi, nana, raphael sanz, thomas & tobias

not to be forgotten:
andreas, bastian, breno, chistian, daniel, franck, hamit, landon, luca, lucio, mark, martin, michael, miroslav, phillip, zé roberto

for pics of the trip, just visit my multiply (flama4.multiply.com)!

myth (iii) - perfection

2009-01-14T12:11:00.002+01:00

the day before yesterday, i was there again. at the site of the place where i saw an inexpressible amount of beauty. it had been over 10 years, and it was special to walk those streets again, to see that room again.
it was that time of year again. the musikschule lüneburg held its open day, one year after the last one cited in one of the past posts. once again, i was playing with a band on the outdoor stage, but before we started, i looked for eva’s classroom (the one in the picture). up to then, i didn’t know where she studied the viola, but i found it quickly, right next to the stage. when i arrived there, only the teacher and another student were there, and some chairs for visitors to sit and watch. i sat, and waited. a nice, old, spacey room. kind of dark, but light was coming through a window, and its beam was visible on the floor.
i don’t know if you ever felt this way, but when the person you’re waiting to see finally arrives, it’s almost as if you have no clue of what to do, where to look at. that’s how i felt most of the time when i saw any of these platonic passions i’d had up to eva, and it was no different with her. when she came in, i almost felt the room becoming very small. after all, i would always watch her from a certain distance, rarely i would be in the same room she was. she seemed a little late, but was all smiles, took out her viola and positioned herself near that window. the light was shining on her dark blond hair, which always seemed reddish – now even more so. she was wearing a blue summer dress with white flowers all over it, only making her feet visible. it was, by fair, my favorite outfit, and i’d seen her use it quite a few times. her hair was perfectly “wusch” – straight, kin-length, golden, and after any movement, it would go back to its initial position in perfect fashion. and she shaked her hair quite a bit while playing. you see, eva is a really talented musician and comes from a family of musiciains – her father reinhard tüting was my brother leo’s teacher for years, and no doubt had a great musical influence on him. and her mother played instruments too, as did her older sister wiebke. but eva was something special. very talented indeed, she played the cembalo (harpsichord), all kinds of flutes and possibly some other instrument; and in addition to that, she had a beautiful voice. but her playing the viola that afternoon has been a very vivid memory since then. the beam of light on her, her movements while interpreting the piece she was rehearsing with her teacher, that dress, that hair, that music, that room… it was as if time had stood still. i almost even forgot i was in love with her; i couldn’t stop staring, looking, admiring, in an awe. this was something really special, someone really special. this is one of those rare moments of perfection. the only one i can remember without having to search my memory – i’m sure there have been others, but none has stuck to mind more than this one. i guess my heart was beating very fast at first, and then almost stopped beating, to not get in the way with what i was seeing, experiencing. and i’d never seen her as beautiful as on that day – and this of a girl i had considered to be physically perfect from a very subjective point of view.
i had to leave the room the play for the band. i was hoping that she would show up and watch – not at all to see me play the saxophone, which wasn’t anything compared to her playing the viola. but to be able to watch her for a little longer. this hunger could not be stilled, i longed to see her. but, differently than last year, she didn’t show. and although i was trying to keep my eyes at her room, right next to where we were, it seemed that she had left and i hadn’t noticed. so i played there, between the hope to still see her at least one more time that day, and the disappointment of her having left. and so it was. we played our set, i still went to the saxophone department and stayed there for a while – knowing that she had left (the open day was over), but still with that little 1% hope that she hadn’t, i talked to some friends while sometimes looking to the other side, where her room, that room, was. maybe she would still walk out.
an enormous adrenaline kick and a shock went through my body when i saw her walking out the building. have you ever felt this? no time to really process that she was, against all odds, still there – she was leaving! not even enough time to process her full beauty, that dress, that face, that hair. i said a very quick and sudden goodbye to my friends and stepped out my building. where was she? gone already? no, there she was, walking. i knew where she was going – to get her bus at am sande, the 1977 (my year of birth) to deutsch-evern. so there she was, walking down apothekenstrasse in the direction of grosse bäckerstrasse. by the way, all these locations (including her room) can be seen on http://flama4.multiply.com/photos/album/36/36. with not real control over my pace, i passed her quite quickly, at bonhorst music store. i had no courage to look back and see where she was and still was walking far too fast. when i took the right at rats-apotheke, i quickly looked back and still saw her. so now i walked slower, towards kleine bäckerstrasse. heart beating really fast, still no courage to look back. finally, when i got to perl buchhandlung, already near am sande, i went in and stopped. where was she? was she gone again? why was i so stupid? why didn’t i look back? she didn’t know who the heck i was! i went back on the street. and then i saw her.
this is another one of those very magical scenes, where time seemed to move very slowly. she was very near, and my natural reaction would be to look away and walk. but i simply couldn’t. i froze and just watched her, and these images are still in my head, in the same (cliché, i know) slow motion i experienced them that day. she was walking, her hair going up and down, always settling perfectly before the next step. she seemed to look nowhere, just out of this world. she didn’t notice me, which was not obvious, because she was only a few meters behind me, in a moving crowd, with only me stopping and staring right at here. it must have been around 4 seconds, but it felt much longer. i then woke up again and moved into the direction of my bus – hers was at the other side of am sande. i even missed my bus back to adendorf to wait for her to get on hers. she still seemed very absent minded, now at a secure distance of around 30 meters. i watched her get into the bus, sit on the left side and leave.
this was the day eva rose above any other girl i had ever seen or had feelings for. this story is still worth quite a few posts, but this day is probably the reason that eva tüting is the myth.

the day before yesterday, when i went to catch the bus to adendorf at am sande (which now leaves from where the old 1977 bus left), i was at the musikschule, so i was able to walk that same historical path once again... i even stopped at the bookstore perl...

myth (ii) - she reigns!

2008-12-28T21:07:00.001+01:00

that august 3rd. it’s funny how i still remember it after 16 years. every august 3rd i’m aware it is august 3rd; quite a special date amongst many special dates. and it strangely felt as if i had been in love with her for ages.
let’s go back a little. since i was seven, when i first started looking at girls differently, i had this very private world i’ve already written about. basically, i had my music. my stuffed animals. and the girl i was in love with. all part of a little, secret and private world. that’s an easy explanation as to why these girls where almost never actually people i talked to or had any kind of relation with. they would just inspire my dreams. i do believe that i didn’t make up their personalities, i was much too much of the observing kind. but it was just better to know them from a distance. and so it was with sarah dumber (at age 7) and those who followed her footsteps: yvonne dobert, birte brettschneider, isabel willkommen, anja beusch and imke beusch. typically, they would have long periods of my full attention and of my little world’s reign; long if you take into account that i was young, and that i didn’t know them. michaela (at age 8) and jana (at age 12) were the exceptions. actually, the jana story (which will deserve it’s own post) divided my personal romantic history into pre (also known as the golden age) and post (the modern age).
when eva came along, it was as if i had found the ultimate girl to be in love with. for me, she was simply perfect. the perfect look, the perfect looks, the prefect way of being, the perfect smile. just perfect. not in an objective, complete kind of way, but in a very personal, private kind of way. a way that i’m sure no one else was seeing her. after quite some time, i even told my friends a little about her, and they didn’t see anything special; which actually pleased me. because, in that one sense, she was mine. in that view of her, she was unique to me.
in the summer, she and her friends would walk around the sports field, and i would normally be out there with a friend, chatting and watching her from a distance. in the winter time, she would hang out in the basement of our school, with her friends (often joined by jana and bärchen). i knew exactly where she was and would pass by at least twice to get a glance at her. but it wasn’t unusual that i just couldn’t look, although she didn’t even know i existed. i mean, to look right at her… it really made my heart start. i’d been as deeply in love with any of those girls before eva, at least as deep as you can be at that age. but this was a new level.
the winter came and i went to brazil for the first time at this time of year. this was the first time that i had spent a semester without having my older brother andre around, so i was glad to meet him there. he had gone to brazil to stay at a boarding school for a year (to get to know the language, culture and family), a fate that was waiting for me only a year later. well, in brazil, something very unusual happened. in a very short amount of time, i really got interested in a girl i got to know there. priscila was her name, and she totally blew me away. by the way, once again, leo was also interested. and a third guy called rafael was absolutely crazy about her. near new year’s, i had to admit that i had fallen in love with her. but when i got on the plane back to germany only a few days later, i knew that eva was back at number one. this was the first time that someone’s “time on the thrown” was interrupted by someone else. but eva was back, and that wouldn’t be the only time!
although priscila did earn a special place in my heart that next semester, it was no comparison to eva in all her glory. she went from using her winter clothes and the bus 1977 from her little town deutsch-evern (77, by the way, is the year i was born) to using a beautiful spring and summer dress and her bike. beauty – so much more than external beauty. i’m guessing that you know what i’m talking about. or do you? today, i went to a region near Interlaken, switzerland, to see the alps. i love the alps, they are the most beautiful natural region i know, i really love them. i didn’t say too much, but i was very excited to see them today and took quite a lot of pictures (http://flama4.multiply.com/photos/album/27/a_day_near_interlaken# if you want to check them out). a true beauty. and one of the most beautiful sights i’ve ever had. but the most beautiful i have to tell you about in my next post. very special and unforgettable moments, the birth of a true myth.

myth (i) - the feeling begins

2008-12-26T21:57:00.002+01:00

in greek, myth simply means story. maybe even a special story, somewhat of a sacred story. i have a story to tell. one of an idealized person i never really had the privilege to know. one who tells me more about myself than about her. i don’t know why she became such a great myth to me. but fact is, she did. and she dominated my little world for quite a while, proving to have quite a great amount of power over me. or was it just me, after all?
it was more than seventeen and a half years ago that i met my myth for the first time. it must have been april of 1991, in the little town of worpswede, north germany, around 30 km away from bremen. i was 13 years old, had overcome my first heartbreak in love, and was mostly listening to tracy chapman and herbert grönemeyer at the time. i was in love with a brunette who studied in a parallel class (she has been mentioned her, anja). my family and me went to worpswede to pick up my youngest brother leo from his musical week. at the time, he still had perfectly straight hair, and as we sat to watch the final concert before leaving for home, he sat right in the center, first row, to play is viola da gamba. right next to him, there was a girl. his age, maybe a little bit taller than him at the time, playing her viola. i remember being mesmerized by her. i couldn’t stop observing her and ignoring leo. even afterwards, when the young kids had a final activity outside, i caught myself looking at this girl the whole time. now, you must know that although i did not know anja, i was always very faithful to the girls at number one. this wouldn’t keep me from staring, but it did keep me from pursuing more interest. of course i did ask leo who that girl was, and found out that he had fallen in love with her that week. good taste! so the one thing i got out of it all was that she was very musical, the daughter of leo’s music teacher, sang very well and was talented on the flute and cembalo (harpsichord) as well. and that her name was eva. what a name!
i remember noticing her as a new student in my school next august. actually, she started going to class with jana and bärchen (their stories will be in here someday), who were my main people in 1990. but at first i was very focused at anja, and then, as already mentioned here, it was imke’s turn on the “throne of my heart” (hahahaha). but it was at another musical event in the spring that eva caught my unrivalled attention for the second time. i was now 14, listening quite a lot to simply red (...). my town’s music school held a yearly event i was more than used to by that time, called “tag der offenen tür” (open door day), where people would visit the school, see class in real time and appreciate musical performances. there was a wooden stage set in the middle of the open garden inside the school, and this was first time that a jazz band organized by my sax teacher bernd reincke performed there. as we played our set, i observed the people who were there to see us. and there she was, leaning on a tree not too far away: eva, now with longer hair than at the beginning of the school year, was watching us – and stayed for most of the set. once again, i couldn’t help but look. just look and admire. i can’t really be exact about the reasons why she just made me look at her. i guess the simplest explanation is beauty. not the kind of beauty that makes everyone and anyone look. a very personal kind of beauty. i mean, she was always good looking. but certainly not the girl widely accepted as a looker. but for me, she seemed to be the most beautiful thing i had ever seen. a feeling similar to one i’d had towards a girl called birte brettschneider when i was still 9 and 10 years old, but stronger. i didn’t actually express the thought at the time, but the feeling was that i had never seen anything with greater beauty than eva tüting.a few months later, imke’s reign came to an end. she just didn’t cut it for me. i was now looking for a new “queen”, and i still remember: it was the first day back at school, august 3, 1992, monday morning. i saw a girl going into the main entrance. it was eva. and then i knew. an era began.

class of 2010 (vii) - from d to a

2008-12-25T05:06:00.002+01:00

finally we arrived at the last post of this series. another very special five members of the class of 2010 to go, concluded at christmas day.
and what a pleasure it is to start with mr. david kim. it is not only a cliché, but an actual fact that girls tend to be more mature than boys at this age, and this is certainly true for this class. i’m not saying that the boys are necessarily immature, or even that it is something bad not to be too mature at this age. but david has a very high level of maturity. he’s not only very intelligent and smart, he is wise. very balanced, very respectful, very thoughtful. he just seems to know. and he is a pleasure both to teach and to hang around.
camila pinto is a very sweet person. she is a very good representative of superior female maturity (hehe), having all the qualities of a strong student: hard work, perseverance, interest, and a lot of extra-curriculars going on. she definetly knows what she wants – to be the best she can be. and i’ll tell you write now: she is great! very empathetic, natural leader, nice sense of humor, good choice of boyfriend – and did i mention her sweetness?
as can be attested by now, i am a not-so-secret fan of this class. if there were a fan club, i would be a member. this is also the case with this next member, audrey. i mean, the name is a starter (as future posts will explain). and this audrey, too, is very rich in the inside. she is persuasive and not afraid to use her charm. she is hard working and willing to get the best out of her. she can be very funny and very serious. she is a very fast thinker, and is bound to be quite a profound one. and she likes people.
arthur is somewhat of a wiz. he is the single student i have taught the most – two classes each year, from day one. and without too much studying effort, he has done very well both in physics and in math. that’s for starters. but the karate kid has a lot more to offer: true kindness sometimes camouflaged in his particular love for irony and sarcasm. loyalty and honesty; a great mind and a great heart. sincerity. and a sense of humor. next year only one class, arthur?
i close this chapter with a person i profoundly admire. i’ve seen her in all her great upbringing. not only polite, but really just nice. i haven’t seen her dancing, but my guess is she is graceful. i’ve seen her mind every time i correct a test or get an interesting question: what a brilliant mind it is, not only organized, but very much eloquent and independent. i’ve seen her jump up and down – a very vivid image showing her always positive ambition. i’ve seen her striving for perfection, and i’d tell her: be as you are, because there is true beauty inside you, ana luiza altaffer.
this concludes the quite long series on a very special bunch of people. i wish them and all of you merry christmas, happy holidays and a great start to 2009.

class of 2010 (vi) - from h to f

2008-12-21T13:22:00.000+01:00

it is incredible. i still have ten to go, and all of them are really special. this is truly an incredible class. for example, there is heewon. a math wiz, no doubt. very independent minded, with strong opinions, high ambitions and expectations. at the same time, she is one to value friendships, has strong personal values and shows that she cares. another very valuable member of the class of 2010.
the next on the list is very passionate. i think that’s the word that describes him best. passionate about corinthians, about his family, about his country, about his heritage, about his friends, about the girl he likes (dunno who, but i have an idea…), basically everything he puts his heart into. hamzah is all about passion. and that’s how we (at least i) like him. huge heart, huge loyalty. ah, and a very curious fellow… .
william barros is also quite a passionate guy. with one of those giant hearts, almost typical of class of 2010. he is one of the students i know best. really truly kind, loyal, honest. has a good sense of justice, as well as a good sense of humor. an overall great guy, very much devoted to his girlfriend. someone you can really count on. that’s guilherme. very likeable.
ms birth is the next on my list. and here i have to say: i am a big fan! fernanda nascimento as a student is extremely dedicated, totally committed to get the best possible results; this is both cause for good questions in class and a certain nervousness before tests. as a person, this trait is quite dominant, too: fernanda seems to me as a person with great perseverance, and is very graceful and polite at the same time. and, yes, she cares for others and has great sensibility.
this post will be closed by a brief description of fernanda pinto. this is a person who is smiling almost all the time! she is quite emotional, never to worried about hiding what she really thinks or feels, which leads me to the conclusion that she has a very positive outlook on life. fernanda, as quite a few of her colleagues, has been at chapel since the beginning of her school career. and i think she represents quite well what the school is about: friendly, familiar, warm, polite, dedicated to do well, and still enough room for laughter.

class of 2010 (v) - from m to j

2008-12-19T18:42:00.001+01:00

the next person in the backwards alphabet is another very special one. i got to know marcelo a little during the before mentioned woc trip, and was very happy to see him voted the most improved in the class, last year. now, i have the pleasure to teach him in math hl, and my initial ideas about him have only been confirmed: marcelo is very smart and fast in calculations, but maybe his greater strength is a very sharp sensitivity. he is multi-talented (including the most different kinds of sports, really good in bb too!), has a great sense of humor, is generally ironic without ever being really negative, which is definitely a plus. and i think he’s extremely likeable!
we’ve now reached l for lucas. at first, he might appear to be that kind of silent, solid as a rock kind of person, always polite and friendly. and he is all that, although there’s much more too him. to me, he seems to be one of the most trustworthy persons i have ever encountered, and he has a great passion for overcoming obstacles, pushing himself to be as best as he possibly can, without ever offending anyone. in addition to that, lucas is great at sports and generally in a good mood. he inspires others to take it easy, and i think he has found a very good equilibrium between giving his best and maintaining an objective outlook of life. he is one to be admired, for sure. lucas would!
of course i remember ms. lund since the first week, but it was her presence at the first parent teacher conference that stuck. capable of speaking a little bit of german from earlier schools, julie wouldn’t call math her favorite subject. but she has quite a good and fast understanding of things. in general, julie seems older than her age, somewhat wise. she is loyal to her beliefs and her friends. she likes to be athletic, including her dancing classes. she definitely has something nordic about her, i guess it’s the blood. but, in the end, she is a person that i simply like a lot!
from italy to brazil, this 9th grade addition to the class of 2010 has become vital member of the class. juliana has many assets, that’s for sure. her natural leadership and her incredible will to always do her best are only part of them. i believe that juliana’s great sense of justice and her ability to defend others (and only rarely herself) is one of her greatest features. she is balanced enough to defend without necessarily attacking, and that has to do with her very mature view of herself, others and the world. there’s no doubt: we’ll see great things from her (no pressure!). and milan will be eliminated by werder.
this post is being closed with someone who really likes cars. i mean, really. volkswagen? even better! i think that was his main motivation to join my german club last year, and he was the only one who was actually sad when it was discontinued in the 2nd semester. at least i got to know him better at the woc trip and, this year, in my hl class. and what a person: generous, hard working, honest, polite, critical without being negative, extremely intelligent. and a friend. jayme will become stronger and stronger, he’s on his way! and one of these days, i’ll beat him in a kart race…

class of 2010 (iv) - from s to m

2008-12-18T17:39:00.000+01:00

christmas is getting nearer. and it seems to be a good season to write a little bit about the next person in that class of 2010. the first time i remember talking to mimi, she was asking if she could join my physics class – it was the first week in the school year. it was a pleasure to have her and her uncountable hearts in two classes last year. and she is someone who embodies the typical season spirit during the whole year! she is very authentic, trusts people and isn’t afraid to show affection. by reading this, you must have found out that serami has a gigantic heart.
and the big heart desease seems to have affected other members of this special class. the next one on my list is pietro, and he is even more solid than his name might indicate. the rock is very loyal, extremely trustworthy, honest, sometimes almost naïve. he is always very polite and positive, but he defends the things he believes in with great passion. my guess is that pietro is a kind a friend you want to have, mostly when things are not as good as they could be. ah, and something funny – he kind of reminds you of matt dillon… hahaha.
a really good friend of serami’s is this next one. nicholas… well i don’t even know where to start. are you getting the idea of how much i like this class? this kid is really precious. talented, smart, very reliable, great sense of humor. although he doesn’t say too much, he is not typically shy. in general, he has a good attitude towards people and life, and he was obviously brought up very well. and, of course all of this makes him very well suited to be a great friend.
now the next student is one of the top of his class, in grades. he is also one of the most gifted football players in his class and in the school, and he roots quite heavily for fc barcelona and argentinian players like messi. very viciated in football, he has an incredible knowledge of players all around the world. he works quite well for school, but still finds the balance to do other things that interest him. he is a quiet leader, a kicktipp champion and an all around great guy. he is martin lopez.
now this next student is quite an interesting combination. for one, he is a brilliant mind, top of the class in math, capable of great logical thinking; simply competent. but, on the other hand, he is very helpful, understanding, patient, driven and polite. yes, i’m talking about mark hu. who? (funney!) mark is always looking to be challenged, and he has the right attitude to be both happy and successful. and that’s what i wish him!

class of 2010 (iii) - from v to s

2008-12-16T13:36:00.000+01:00

i was watching her play, right next to her proud mother. one of these friday games, a special one for this team. the female basketball team had yet to win a match this season, and the big 8 competition was coming up. international schools have their competitions spread out in a semester season, and then they have the highlight, which is a one-week event where eight international schools compete for glory in soccer and basketball (in the 1st semester season), male and female. the girls were already viewing this match as a big 8 prep; october 24, home game against graded (the largest american school in são paulo). everyone was focused, and a victory seemed very much possible. and then, finally, the mother besides me can’t contain her enthusiasm: her daughter vickie had scored! a great day for her and the team, a victory, at last. and against graded, always special. of course it’s not the same, but that simple joy in vickie’s eyes could also be seen when she got a math question right. a very dedicated student, she is a warm person with a warm personality. beatle maniac, she has a nice old fashioned way about her, and is definitely a person you can trust. i really hope she will be happy.
i don’t teach vickie any more, but i do teach the next fellow. this is one case of a typical teacher’s joy: when they witness the growth of a student, becoming more mature; at least with his school work! thomas is a talented guitar player and the band leader of “the bunny”, a very fun to watch and good potential teenage rock band. sorry about the teenage. but thomas writes his own music and is also quite a culturally aware person. he is very smart, no doubt. smart enough even to recognize that he needs to put in more effort to get the results he wants; and that’s exactly what he’s doing, at least in my math class. thomas was born in russia, and has roots in st.petersburg. his zenit threw my bayern out of the uefa cup a few months ago (humiliating 4x0 in the semis), but we might get his chelsea in the champions league very soon. anyway, thomas, you are very much appreciated. and a vital member of the class.
silvia is another very smart person in this class. she is very well educated, has a healthy view of the world and the people in it. she shows openness towards new ideas and people, and mostly has a realistic, yet positive outlook at life. in short: she cares, and that’s good. she also seems more mature than her age, but i’m guessing it doesn’t prevent her from having fun. are you getting the picture i have of her? a very diverse person, strong in reasoning and in emotion. a thinker, yes, but also a doer. and, of course, extremely likeable. i guess some of this can be credited to really good parenting and a good older brother, hehe.
now, the next one is the man. shogo man. as some girls at the woc trip would say, “very sweet” personality. seemingly shy at first, and not one to make grand speeches, shogo is actually quite outgoing. he is very intelligent, not only rationally, but also emotionally. he’s practical, always ready to help those who need and ask; he has a great sense of justice. and he loves basketball, which he is really quite good at. i think he has a lot to add to the class, and so does the class to him. and one more thing about shogo: i’m certain that he will leave brazil knowing the language, which i think is great!
to call sergio passionate about basketball is clearly an understatement. he was one of the new guys last year, just like me. and since then, i really have to think a lot to try to find a day where he wasn’t wearing anything basketball related. i’ll just say that when everyone least expects it, the mavs will be in the finals! anyway, sergio is, by nature, a very straight forward person. authenticity sometimes comes with a price, and of course there is a learning curve there, but that’s why i feel that this particular special class has been ideal for sergio. i mean, everyone knows how really great hearted sergio is. if you’re looking for true loyalty, you’ll find it in him. and this next sentence is true for anyone: the more you think of others, the more life will make sense to you. sergio is a great guy, not only in basketball.

class of 2010 (ii) - the lesser known (to me)

2008-12-16T12:52:00.003+01:00

there are thirteen members of the class of 2010 that i haven’t taught enough to really know them. actually, i don’t know lívia and caroline at all. hopefully i will get to know them a little bit, i bet they are as special as this group is. there were four more new students, two of which i haven’t taught so far, but somehow know a little: andrea, who seems to be a really great addition to the class; cheerful, kind, funny. and aadarsh, very friendly and polite, a logical reasoning wizard, and just very likeable.
the two other new students i have had the pleasure to know a little more: there is our olympic wonder luiza, youngest brazilian athelete in beijing and best national finisher in the olympic competition, now twice the brazilian champ in her speciality, equestrian dressage. and, of course, our newest addition vaibhav. you just know he’s a good guy, and he will fit in to this class perfectly. i’m not quite sure yet, but it seems to me that he has a great sense of humor.
pamela was my student for a little longer than vaibhav, and i wished it were more. not only because of her obvious dedication and intelligence, but also because she is really great and very rich in the inside. clarissa was also a student for only a brief amount of time; enough, though, to get to know her fun-loving, well humored personality, as well as her grand love for math and physics… . and there is mr gandra, who was in my german club a few times. another good person and one of the many athletes in the class, felipe is one of the veterans of chapel (as far as i know).
to finish this smallest section of the class of 2010 series, i would like to mention three girls i got to know a little in woc 2008. the “world is our classroom”, a one week educational trip in the 2nd semester of every school year, was in minas for last year’s tenth grade. and it became quite clear that renata, luana and beatriz, although quite different from each other, are smart, even wise, and seemingly fun company; and, if i’m not mistaken, they’re friends (in luana and renata’s case, even related). and, finally, there is barbara penney. i know she is friends with quite a lot of her colleagues, but i don't know her too much at all.
there are still twenty-five to go, and these i will write about in greater detail. each five will make one post, so there are still five to go… .

class of 2010 (i) - nooooooot!

2008-12-16T12:16:00.001+01:00

ok, let’s get to it. let me present to you the class of 2010.
actually, not quite. because i do have to mention a few students who have already left chapel, and will therefore not be part of the graduating bunch. and, actually, these students are quite particularly special to me.
first, there’s my favorite swede. not that i have met many in my life; but anders has historical importance. he was the first chapel student i ever talked to. when i came in to “audition” for a position as a teacher, he was in the class as i set up things. listening to music, very typical. you see, anders just loves good music, and he has great taste, too… at least in my opinion. he is not the most extrovert person you’ll meet, but that is actually another thing i like about him. very polite, but independent in his opinions. and just extremely likeable. hope to pay him a visit back in sweden sometime.
then, of course, there is tomassito. this is a person that i really enjoyed having in my class, up to 150 minutes every other day. i made him struggle with the concepts of physics and the wonders of math in the classroom (and mostly, he did quite well with both), while he made me fight for victories in the table tennis arena. we played many matches, quite a few of them i would refer to as memorable, and all in all that describes mr vanegas to me – quite memorable.
of course, this leads me to the third “drop-out”, fernanda carmo. she had an interesting relationship to tomás, which was funny, because she seemed to be quite the opposite of him: very outgoing, very very outgoing. both intelligent and smart, she really strived to get the best possible grades. but what i admired about her was the fact that she didn’t try as hard as most people at her age (or almost any age) to conceal her need to be loved and accepted. by the way, i believe that we never really deserve to be loved or accepted; but when we are, we respond to that in a way that makes us at least more worthy. so choose to love, you’ll get the best out of people that way.
one sentence about carlitos, who was never my student but still will be mentioned. i was very glad to see him here at chapel yesterday, we started playing table tennis later in the year. he always seemed to be genuinely good hearted to me. he also left, and he used to hang out a lot with tomás.
before that, though, i think that tomás’ best friend here at chapel was manuel salas. and here i must clarify one thing, at least speaking for me. a teacher does not have favorite students, necessarily. at least, i don’t. i ‘ve always had a few students i felt some kind of a special connection. it doesn’t mean that i prefer those student over others; i guess it’s similar to having a few kids. you love them equally, but you do feel a special connection to one or the other. anyway, manuel was such a student for me. our handshaking ritual before every single class was almost sacred, and i just got the feeling that this kid was really one of a kind. his abrupt departure from chapel took me by surprise, but once again, i was very happy to see him earlier this year.
so i started writing about the class of 2010 beginning by those who won’t be here in 2010. it’s time to talk about those who are here… next post!

from 2000 to the class of 2010

2008-12-13T22:19:00.001+01:00

this is the (quite long) build up post to the next one, which will be entitled "class of 2010".

as a teacher, i’ve had some memorable classes. the first one i ever taught in, which was a 10th grade (1º contabilidade) near porto alegre, south brazil (year 2000). or one in 2001, also 10th grade (1º ensino médio), where i taught religion and english (six classes a week) – really memorable class! of course there was another class in a school in interlagos, são paulo, in the years 2004 and 2005. more recently, i’ve had the pleasure of teaching a math class for three semester at my current school, chapel (www.chapelschool.com). i will have a special entry on them nearer to their graduation, next june.
but today i would like to write about maybe the most extraordinary people that a class has ever put together. this year’s juniors at chapel, whom i got to know as sophomores last year, are one of the main reasons i really enjoy my job. i haven’t taught all of them, which is the reason why i won’t be mentioning all of them in this entry. but i am quite sure that if a knew those others better, i would have similar feelings towards them.
my first encounter with this class was in may of 2007. at the time, i was really hoping for a job at an international school. to fully understand what this class means to me, i am hoping for your patience to have a not-so-quick look at my career so far. you see, since i graduated in high school back in 1995, i knew that i wanted to work in a school environment. for that reason, i chose education as my first graduation, always planning to do two grad schools. during the first and more broad one i would figure out what i would do next: psychology, to further pursue a more guidance-oriented approach to what i wanted to do; history, in order to become a history teacher and teach something with passion, for i really enjoyed history. i might mention, as a side note, that this is the merit of my history teacher in germany, herr neubauer. and the third option was mathematics, which i had always loved totally independent of any teacher. actually, the other three teachers standing out in my “career” as a student taught subjects i never got excited about: frau germer in english, herr holzmann in french and rubens alegria in biology. after concluding my ba in education (1999), i decided to accept a job offer in a boarding school in south brazil, iacs. this was quite an important decision career wise. because i didn’t get a job offer based on my b.a., which allowed me to lead a school, be a guidance counselor or teach subjects like philosophy, psychology and sociology. i was asked to teach saxophone at their music school, besides teaching english in high school. so when i said yes, i was officially starting an unlimited search for my place in school; would i want to be a teacher, or a guidance counselor, or even pursue a career to one day be a school director, headmaster, superintendent.
from the first year on, they asked me to teach religion, too – the only actual part of the job where i was actually using anything included in my b.a.. in my third year there, i finally got to teach the before mentioned three humanistic subjects. this had a negative effect, though; i was starting to do too many different things: teaching six different subjects plus 20 saxophone students, while finally deciding to and actually studying math at the local private university (called faccat). and the choice of math was almost accidental: torn between math and psychology at the time, i chose math because it was on the program of said institution of education, while psychology only entered a semester later.
another choice i made at the end of 2003 was to leave iacs after four years of service. it was time to get more specific about what i was going to do. i did not want to teach english, my least favorite subject. so it was either trying a career as guidance counselor or being a math teacher, maybe even for life. so i accepted a job offer from são paulo to teach english, but only because i heard that there i might have a chance to move up after a few years, depending on my work. i decided to continue studying math, but at a slower pace. financial issues played a role, but i also wanted to be sure of what i would do by the time i concluded my math degree.
so i taught english in two schools, from 5th grade up to senior class. although i preferred teaching at the school in interlagos, the more decisive gig was in the alvorada school. my boss there (educational supervisor) really liked me and my work, and i soon told her that my dream was to be a guidance counselor. in brazilian schools, this is quite odd, because it is a job almost exclusively given to women. but i really wanted to try it out, to see if i would like it, before getting to final decisions about what i would do for a living, for the rest of my life.
not too long after that, nadia (this boss and friend of mine) moved up to coordinating all adventist schools in south são paulo (there were eighteen). by the time nadia called me in august of 2005, i had already ditched the alvorada school and was working reduced hours in interlagos; after all, teaching english was not what i wanted to do, although i still loved the classroom experience. the call was to ask me if i was still interested at a shot as a guidance counselor. i said yes. a week later, i went to her office, and she totally surprised me with her offer: i was to become the “orientador educacional” at the colégio ellen g white, the second largest, oldest and most traditional school of the southern são paulo district. and probably the most problematic. located in the suburb known as capão redondo, it is actually to big a school to jump into that kind of job for the first time. but none of the more experienced guidance counselors wanted to move there, in order for me to take a less demanding position at a smaller school. so it was that or nothing. i said yes and i never regretted it.
in fact, i really loved being a guidance counselor. of course it is something else to be in the administrative team of a school, but it is the personal contact to parents and students that really inspired me. tough job: more responsibility, 600 students and parents you should know, more hours, and incredibly enough, less money than as a teacher (who are paid by the hour in brazil, while the administration is paid a fixed monthly salary often inferior to what some more hard working teachers earn). and, yes, “only” four weeks of vacation a year, compared to double of that for teachers. but finally i was experiencing this new perspective, and i really had a passion for it.
but in the back of my head, there was always this other thing i wanted to try out at least once before deciding what to do with my professional life. i really wanted to experience what it would be like to work for a school that had the means to approximate the teaching experience to an ideal. smaller classes than the average of 35 i was used to, more technology, planning time, and why not mention the higher salary. i definitely had my eyes set on an experience in an international school. at the end of 2003, upon leaving the south of brazil for são paulo, i had two interviews at two different schools of that type. both were only a call in to get to know me, because none of them actually had vacancies for the next school year. but i was still honored to be called, an even taught two test classes in the international school of curitiba. i also visited st paul’s school in são paulo and was interviewed there.
i now knew that i enjoyed being a guidance counselor, but unfortunately i came to realize that it wouldn’t sustain me financially. another door was opening, though. i was seen as a future candidate for a school director position, and was also contemplated as a possible coordinator, a very similar job to the one my ex-boss nadia got. both of those would enable me to sustain myself, but i was very unsure at the prospect of being the head of a school; i didn’t think the job description really fit me, although people were telling me it did. and i didn’t like the idea of giving up too much of my private life in favor of the school, which would inevitably happen. and the position in an office, helping to oversee 18 schools, didn’t seem too appealing to me: too far away from parents and students, the main reason i was in the business for starters. so i decided to resign from my position as guidance counselor at the end of 2006 and focused my efforts to finish my degree in math and finding a job in an international school, the last thing i wanted to try and get a feel of. if it were able to combine the experience of teaching math and doing that in an international school, that would be just ideal to conclude my searching for a place in school.
for 2007, i came up with a little project which i hoped would sustain me during my attempt to get a job at an international school. but things weren’t working out, and for the first time, i felt the pressure. it was becoming a necessity to get a solid job soon, because money was very short, and i was still paying the bills for the math degree, on top of everything. so i was glad when st paul’s called me on the cell phone, inquiring if i would be open to a job offer to teach math. oh man, that was a dream. a real hope. a window for solution. they said they would call me a week later after sorting some things out for next year’s schedule. but when they called me, they said that there was no need for a new teacher after all, as they were able to fix the schedule. i was very disappointed. i mean, really disappointed. i have this thing where i never put my hopes up too much with this kind of stuff, in order to not get too disappointed.
at the end of that same week, a very good friend and cousin, kley feitosa, showed up in town. he had been living in the u.s. for almost a decade, and had just accepted an offer to teach physics in istanbul, turkey. i told him what had happened, and he asked me if i had sent my cv to chapel school. i had never heard of chapel school. he gave me the information, because he had talked to the superintendent in a job fair; they weren’t looking for physics, but they were looking for math. the next day, i sent them my cv, and was surprised to get an answer just a day later. very soon, i was interviewed, and we set a date for me to teach a class. but the offer had an “if” – they needed me to teach physics, too. i checked at my university if i had enough hours of physics in the course to be authorized by mec (brazilian education and culture ministry) to teach. luckily, i did. so i came in and met miss pat may, the head of the math department. she gave me some geometry material, and a weekend later, i was in classroom.
finally back to he class of 2010. because it was exactly part of that class that was in the room. i tried not to feel nervous, but i was. and it showed. it was not a good class. the high school vice principal, the superintendent, the ib coordinator and miss may were all there. and somehow, i had a really bad feeling. which only worsened after the post-interview, which ended with a “we’ll know by the end of may; if we don’t call you, please call us to know.”
another big disappointment, this one much bigger. because this time i had a chance, and i had a feeling that i blew that chance; and, even worse, it could’ve gone much better! i could’ve done so much better. i was down, and that does not happen very often to me. at this point, i should mention the great support i got from my then girlfriend flavia through these difficult times.
how i still got a positive fall in the beginning of june, i still don’t fully understand. but it was a blessing, and has been. what irony then to see that most of my students would be sophomores, some of them surely from that class, that day.
the next post will deal with those students individually. starting with the blond boy i talked to before teaching my “test” class that embarrassing early may day.

twix in a roll

2008-12-11T15:39:00.002+01:00

i wanted to write about someone else today, but then i remembered that it is a special person’s birthday. good enough reason to change my mind. and i think it’s nice to start with why i never forget his birthday.
“this will be easy to remember”, thomas said. “your birthday is 12.11., mine is 11.12!”. when he said that to me, we were on the verge of our twelfth birthday. we had met a few months earlier. after completing the 6th grade in the big village of adendorf (with a population of almost 10,000, it is said to be the biggest village in europe… who knows…), i was moving to what germans called gymnasium. basically a new school, this time in the nearby municipal capital lüneburg. oedeme was the choice for the adventist kids – no school on saturday. so the distance to school went from 200 m to 8 km. in germany, that is considered quite far. and in my new class with new people, there was only one student who came from further. by far. almost 26 km from egestorf to oedeme, where thomas scholz came from every single day. we sat beside each other on the very first day, and we became friends almost immediately. there are very few people as pleasant as thomas on this planet. just easy to be around, and loyal as a rock. and one of the few people you can truly say is your friend, although you haven’t seen and hardly talked to him for ten years.
there are some habits i still have today from hanging out with this unique thinker. chocolate bars in rolls, for example. or a unusually high affection towards mentos or even fanta. a twix, two mentos, two rolls and a fanta – that was thomas’ daily bread in breaks at school.
one day, thomas invited me to stay at his place for a few days. there i met his older brother johannes, and we played quite a lot of table tennis tennis (very interesting variation of table tennis). we also played at oedeme’s school big band, both playing the clarinet. well, a year later i switched to saxophone, but still.
thomas and i continued to be good friends throughout my four years at oedeme. one of the best moments was a bike tour we took together with hannes and another special person, oliver. this story (one of my all time favorites!) will be told at a different time, right here.
i’ve seen thomas both in 95 and in 98, but since then, our contact has been reduced to stayfriends.de, a german website. thomas is now married, probably quite successful, and, as i mentioned before, i don’t know too much about his current life. but he does remember my birthday every single year, and i remember his.

life changes (iii)

2008-12-10T17:06:00.000+01:00

final part.

although we were still very good friends, we started having these stupid little competitions, without even declaring it a competition. but God knows that sometimes, from bad comes good. one of those was kind of a mini-competition for the friendship of the new girl in “the block”. she had just moved to town; i’d met her in summer camp 1991, but i didn’t actually get to know her there. and now there she was, seemingly very unique and nice. i liked her right away, and raphael, too. and because he was less shy in nature, he actually got to talking to her first. but i am really proud to say that she is my friend until today, the best one at that. there will be a series of posts on inga bendig, for sure.
when time came for me to go to brazil in the summer of 1993, with the plan of staying at a boarding school for a full year to learn language and culture, raphael and me were at one of those points of our friendship where we wouldn’t have almost any contact. we were simply growing tired of getting on each other’s nerves, something that we would inevitably do. i never liked theses pauses too much, but since the summer of 92 i had gone back into the direction of being more social. not social in the kind of person who likes to hang out in big groups (which i will never like), but in the sense of having quite a few friendships i would describe as meaningful. at that time, mostly friends from my class in school were becoming closer and closer. not only jan bahtel, with whom i had an interesting connection right before going to brazil; or immo meyer-christian, with whom i played tennis a few times. but mostly christian bassen (postworthy) and the trio johannes scholz, thomas scholz and oliver dietze, with whom i went on a bike tour in the fall of 92. the imke issue was long over, too. a myth had been the queen of my heart (haha) for a full school year at the time i was leaving for brazil. and i had a very valuable friendship in its beginning stages: inga and i exchanged some letters, although we lived less than 1 km apart.
so i went to brazil without even saying goodbye to raphael, who had gone to spain. we know we still were friends, but this was definitely going to be a test. and it took quite long since we first exchanged letters. yes, good old letters. at that time, that was the way to communicate, and i guess i’m on of those who misses those days. in my first year in brazil, i wrote and received over a hundred letters. raphael’s first one came around my 16th birthday in november. typically, it was as if we had never ceased to communicate. and it went on in a high frequency until the summer of 94, when i was supposed to come back to germany. i had a lot to talk about, lots of stuff going on in brazil, while he had some very interesting things to say, some of them with people unknown to me; others, about people very familiar to me. one week, i got five letters from him; all talking about the newest development with a certain girl. you can say that we were back to being as good friends as in 91, distance had been good.
and although that was certainly true, i was sad to find out that i wouldn’t see raphael in my summer visit to germany. i had decided to complete high school in brazil, only to return to germany and finish up high school over there, too. the year in this now more familiar country had been to eventful to just say goodbye after a year, even though i never had a doubt in my mind that the place i wanted to live was germany. raphael had gone to spain, which was okay; but i did wish we’d had some time to talk face to face about the events in the letters. so i saw practically everyone i wanted to see, from school friends to church friends to michaela (as mentioned before); but i did not see the two people i had wanted to see the most: raphael and the myth. a story involving these two around christmas 93 will follow when i write about… the myth.
although less intense in terms of letter frequency, the second year in brazil still had quite a lot of stories – from here and from there – to be read. and there was an unpleasant surprise, presented in a pleasant way. you know, my older brother andre went to brazil in 92 and was supposed to stay for a year, but decided to finish high school and then go back to germany in december of 94. i had taken the same decision a year later. and my younger brother leo was supposed to come to brazil in 96, for the one year experience. but when he woke me up in rio, october of 94, i was very surprised to see him in brazil – out of nowhere. but he was there to tell me that my parents were moving to brazil in 95, and that he had arrived early for adaptation. i was very disappointed by that.
this changed my return to germany in the summer of 95 to the first of three visits i have been able to pay the country and its people up to now. i’m glad to visit again at the end of this year, by the way. now that my parents were in brazil, i made arrangements to stay at raphael’s. he himself was going through a similar experience that we were, as he had decided to go to boarding school in sagunto, near valencia, spain, to be in spain and learn spanish. when i arrived at his parent’s place, he was still in spain, and even though i was there, he prolonged his stay for another week. now, that disappointed me quite a lot. i mean, this guy is my best friend. he had spent his vacation of 94 in spain and i hadn’t seen him for two years, for that reason. now i was at his place, basically alone, and he was still there. i have to be honest, i started to doubt this friendship. after all, i wasn’t going to stay or come back in half a year, this was kind of my goodbye to germany. quite a lot was going on in my life, including the love life, and i hadn’t told him anything yet. it was a little frustrating, to say the least.
finally, raphael did arrive. and although he has spanish blood in his veins, he also has german blood, and this was the dominant side. meaning that it is very unusual for a german to express his positive feelings towards another person, be it through a hug or, even worse, through words. this might sound harsh, but i do believe it to be true. this is why i was very impacted by the statement he made the first day he arrived. that he still saw me as his best friend.
i mean, being a best friend is not that big a deal for a guy. sometimes you just know, but normally you don’t say it. and the situation was different: we were not to see each other frequently at all, ever, and i did make great friends in brazil, as he certainly did in spain. it caught me by surprise, and it took the frustration away. considering our history when i still lived in germany, this is something you would not expect raphael to say, or should i say, admit. as i mentioned, we were getting on each other’s nerves, showing how much we knew the other by hurting his feelings. this is not abnormal masculine behavior at all, but it went to far often enough in 92 and 93.
when my brother andre arrived, everything changed, though. andre and raphael had become friendly in the 93/94 winter (remember, they had been friends in the eighties, but then had some kind of stress); in this summer of 95, the roles seemed clear. raphael wanted to please andre, whom he’d always admired, and starting going back to the habit of getting on my back. but in my view, i had matured during the time in brazil. i wasn’t going back to that again, even less so after not seeing him for two years. i was really disappointed, sad is the word. not even mad. it was a sad situation. and it got worse.
until today i don’t know what happened exactly; i may have my theories, but i don’t know if they’re right. anyway, in those weeks, we went from his statement in day one to a very very lousy goodbye. “see you in two years maybe, whatever” he said and left.
it would be three years. no contact whatsoever. i saw him once, for five minutes in 98. and that was it.
as i said at the beginning of these posts about raphael: friendships might not be forever at all. i don’t know what the future holds. i got hold of his email recently and we’ve been in superficial contact. maybe the opportunity arises to talk to him in germany, this january. i guess i would like to. but it does seem that sometimes, some friendships change your life… and then life simply changes.

life changes (ii)

2008-12-07T23:37:00.001+01:00

continuing...

raphael failed the school year in the summer of 1991, and because i was always the youngest in my grade level, we would be in the same grade level in 9th grade, in spite of the two and a half year age difference. he went to a parallel class, the same as marco zücker’s, and, yes, anja beusch. raphael finally became good buddies with marco (they hadn’t liked each other at all) and also had quite a lot of contact with anja. but i still did not get to know her, neither did i want to. and i had the bad idea of telling marco about my feelings for anja; he got me her birthday (i don’t know why, but i always used to like all sorts of dates) but found it kind of funny that i liked her. a month later he confessed that he himself had fallen in love with her. i was kind of mad, not because anything would ever materialize, but because it felt a little like an invasion into my little world. raphael would have never “done” anything like that. anyway, later that year, raphael finally settled on someone to like. it was anja’s younger sister, imke. no doubt we were an influence to each other, i guess not always the best influence, but still. 1991 was over, and i had survived it thanks to raphael and his great loyalty. 1991 was the year i grew too much, started with a quite impressive pimple career, started using glasses, lost friends i believed to be for real, and went from being popular to… not being popular. it might have been the year i learned most about myself. because i had opened up to someone, because that someone was reflecting things back – approval, disapproval, but overall, loyalty. i had always been okay with being who i was, but this made it more real. by getting to know raphael extremely well, i was getting to know myself extremely well.
1992 came. i was at raphael’s. it was february, the month of anja’s birthday. we decided to call her… and tape the conversation. i was kind of excited. i mean, here she was, actually someone who was friendly to raphael, actually friendliness was in her nature. and me, the outsider, but the one in love with her for over a year now. i was 14, raphael almost 17. he called her, taping the conversation. normal but pleasant small talk… and then, suddenly, she said that she had to go because her “boyfriend andreas” had just arrived. andreas? who the heck was andreas? i’ll get into that a little more when i write about anja, but it was a shock to me. and not totally unimportant to the future of my friendship to raphael.
this day was the beginning of the end of anja’s reigning in my little world. and the next girl i fell in love in was… yes, it was her younger sister imke. incredible, actually. raphael was in love with her, possibly even a little inspired by the fact that i was so faithful to the girls i liked. and here i was falling for the same girl. very cliché, and it happened. it took me quite a while to tell him, and when i did, he was shocked.
we went a month without talking to each other.
now this was significant. because it had become a little bit of a… well… sickness? we rode the same bus to school in the winter or biked to school in the summer; we would spend our breaks together; we would get home and sometimes call each other right away. there was certainly a dependence going on that bordered what you would call a healthy friendship. but who wants healthy in the teen years? it was kind of automatic, and it had been like that for quite a long time now.
and then this month.
of course it did not end our friendship. but it was the first sign of what was to come: we knew each other almost too well, and out of boredom maybe, or other reasons, we started getting on each others nerves. on purpose sometimes, others without thinking. but the fact was that we knew exactly how to hurt the other. and we would start making use of this from time to time. and communication interruptions were more and more frequent.

life changes (i)

2008-12-06T00:27:00.002+01:00

this post is getting too long, so i will publish a first part now, and the latter parts when they get ready.

i don’t know how it was with you, but since i broadened by social circle to outside of the family, i’ve basically always had someone that i considered my best friend. i remember that the first in that string of “bf”s (not “bff”s, because it’s just not like that normally, hehe) was tobias tscheuschner, whom i met in the before mentioned French isle summer trip 1986. others to follow were felix jagusch, raphael sanz, marco zücker, thomas scholz, frederico branco, rodrigo streithorst, douglas leal and rafael streithorst.
people say that relationships can end, but friendships shouldn’t. and although i do want to believe this and have known it to be true most of the time, it is exactly my strongest friendship to date that seems to have ended. but let’s start from the beginning.
i arrived in germany (in company of tio ita and tio tania, right after the shaddap episode) for my parents civil wedding. of course, neither me nor any of my brothers talked any german, so we didn’t communicate with the other people who were present at that day. but one of the families present that day was to become important in our lives: a spaniard, his german wife and their son raphael sanz.
over the years, raphael became friends with the gonçalves kids, mostly with andre (the oldest one). i think we were quite fascinated by him, in some way: he was educated following a totally different philosophy than we were, basically much less strict. not that we were brought up in an extremely strict regime, but somehow things seemed much more laissez-faire with him.
in the first semester of 1987, i had been in love with a girl called yvonne dobert for quite some time. as typical for me at that age (9), i hade never spoken to her, nor was she aware of my existence. untypically, though, she was a full 3 years older than me, basically raphael’s age. well, yvonne is worth a post for herself, certainly. anyway, i had this girl well locked up in my secret world, when raphael surprised me twice. first, with a revelation. that was surprising, because we were friends, but not that intimate. he was more my brother andre’s friend at the time, but for some reason he wanted to show me this letter he received from a girl. one of those love letters, much more typical in the eighties than nowadays. and not that a great a letter, by the way. kind of funny. asking him to kiss her on a tuesday afternoon. signed: yvonne dobert. i couldn’t believe my eyes. she seemed to be so much part of my own particular world, known just to me, and thus, somehow kind of mine, in a way. but reality was quite different: she had her eyes on raphael. but strangely i wasn’t disappointed or sad at all, i was actually quite excited about the situation. this was the real yvonne, and she was “in love” with a friend of the family, who was now rapidly becoming my friend. of course, i didn’t tell raphael anything, and of course, he did kiss her on said tuesday afternoon.
anyway, with time passing, i was becoming more and more friends with raphael. in 1990, a great year for me, our friendship peaked for the first time. but i was still more on the receiving side of information than on the giving side. and i was becoming more and more social; marco zücker, newly arrived from the ex-eastern germany, was my best friend then, and lots was going on in the romantic arena. but after a great 1990, a terrible 1991 arrived. and that’s when raphael and me really became friends. and this time, it was totally open.
you see, i’d had really great friends in my life up to that year, people who really made the difference in my day-to-day life. but this was ground-breaking for me, a first. because i always protected my personal life, it was very natural to me to have my own proper world. a place i would go to when i was by myself, very safe and very nice. normally, there was a girl that i liked. a team (bayern münchen). music, lots of music, always very special to me. and, yes, i must admit, my stuffed animals. i really don’t know if this was an indirect result my parents breaking up at early age, no idea. i do know that it was a part of my life for a long time, and to some extent still is. but it was my friendship with raphael that changed things. he was invited, and he did not take the invitation lightly. because, at the end, these were the main topics in our sometimes endless conversations: girls (we had totally different outlooks but learned quickly to respect each others), music (really listening to it), but no sports (raphael was never a big fan). as i mentioned earlier, 1990 had been a great year socially, and 1991 was being horrible. maybe it was the disappointment that led me to open up, although one would think that the opposite would be the consequence. but it was in a way, i went back to being reclusive and shy, but this just seemed to make this old new friendship with raphael more imortant. musicwise, radio music of the time (like shanice’s “i love your smile” or charles & eddie’s “would i lie to you?”) was only shadowed by vangelis’ chariots of fire (my first favorite piece of music, not the title track, but other themes on that album) and michael jackson in general. with the girls, raphael was very, lets say, moody. he would fall in love almost every week, which was kind of funny, and he was not too shy about it. i was still in my old mode, and for some reason it took me a while to tell him who i was in love in at the time: her name was anja beusch, once again a girl who hardly knew who i was, from school. yep, once again, that’s quite a long entry for the future.

myth

2008-11-30T20:30:00.001+01:00

today is a myth's birthday.
soon i will write about this person.

birthdays

2008-11-24T18:31:00.001+01:00

relationships are like second lives. i’ll explain: when you first meet someone, no matter how early or late in your life, it is almost as if that person was born at exactly that moment for you. and, in some way, when that happens, you are born again. you see that person in a light that probably no one has seen before, and the same thing happens to you, if the relationship is mutual in any way.
i don’t remember the exact time when the creator or uncle ita were born to me; i do know that, in both cases, i was born to them earlier than they were born to me. tio ita since the beginning of my life, and Jesus even before that. with michi, we were born to each other at the exact same time, as i recently confirmed. and, in this sense, i was never born to lyle mays (who knows maybe one day), but he was born to me at the end of 1996.
i know, this stuff with born and being born is kind of strange, but i was thinking of it today, while remembering someone special’s birthday. and this is the person i want to write about today. there are people like lyle mays whom i’ve never known and quite possibly never will; then there are people like tio ita, whom i’ve known quite well over the years. then there are people like michi, who i got to know better only years and years after “birth”. and, yes, there are people who i know somewhat, but nonetheless i admire and really like a lot in spite of never really being a vital part of their life.
this is such a person. she was born to me in october of 1994, and it was quite an impressing birth! yes, i still remember the first impression i had of ronísia marinho. it was right after a concert that the group i participated in at the time gave at her church (tom de vida at velho iae, now unasp são paulo). her younger sister rosiley and her were in the back of the church, even a long time after the concert was over. their father (robson) was the pastor of that church at the time, so i guess they were used to being the last ones to leave. but i couldn’t stop looking at her! there are three things that i have tradicionally liked about girls: smile, eyes and hair. and, yeah! what big dark eyes! what an incredible smile (if you know her, you know what i’m talking about)! and that short, dark, straight hair that i like a lot. that was quite a first impression.
now, i’ve haven’t had too many impacting first impressions like this one, and when that happened, i normally never saw the person again. this was different with rô, though. i saw her once later that year, and these two sightings somehow were enough to get my interest in her to a high level. in 1995, beginning of the year, she was the title girl of a denominational magazine, and strangely enough, i became convinced that i was in love with this stranger. although this didn’t last for long, it was still kind of a strange and nice feeling.
it was even nicer, though, to actually get to know ronísia, more than a year later. we lived in the same little community for a short while, and i loved going over to her place to pay a visit to that family i really love (including mother rozenia and once again, sister rosiley, who will deserve a blog entry of her own). we have seen each other a few times a year since then, although now it has been quite a while. she now lives in the states and seems to be on her way to a happy life.

i know her as a person filled with emotions, really alive. she really enjoys helping others and making her friends happy, has time and a great ear - she knows how to listen. through her strong emotions, it seems that she celebrates life; and, thus, people tend to really like her and enjoy her presence.
on this day, her birthday (which i remember since 1995), i get reminded of how you can love different people in different ways, and how they all are so unique. i can’t say that i know too much about ronísia’s life now, neither that we are particularly close. but i do know that she is special to me, one of those people you just root for at anytime. so, happy birthday, rô!

it's great!

2008-11-22T18:13:00.000+01:00

“if you hit my car i’m gonna punch you!” i heard this sentence probably in 1985, and i still remember it so well… . we were in a car, parking in one of those ferries that take you from great britain to europe. we, that was my two brothers, aunt tania and uncle ita. and now, outside of the car, this man was yelling at my uncle.
now, you have to know that my uncle is a very patient person. you’ll never meet anyone as helpful and selfless as “tio ita”, uncle to us and to basically everyone else he knows. he is the kind of person whom you ask for a lift, and he will take you to your home, even if he wasn’t going in that direction.
so there we are, on the ferry. tio ita calmly asks the aggressor: “did i touch your car?”. the man seemed surprised at the calm and smoothe reaction, and couldn’t do anything but answer: “no.” then, tio ita took us all by surprise, by screaming with all his might and power: “then shaaaaaaaadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppp!!!”
my parents split up when i was 4, and before my mother remarried, there were a few years where we were by ourselves – my mother and her three little kiddos. she decided to continue her studies at newbold, about an hour out of london, england. her sister tania was living there, and tania’s husband itamar soon became the chief entertainer for his nephews (a role he hasn’t given up yet, J). i will dedicate a future post to tia tania, but today i want to write about the great ita.
his great gift has always been service. he loves to help, no questions asked. if he can be useful, he will be. it is natural to him that people in need should be helped, and without considering his own conditions, he will help as far as possible – or even further.
he’s also a very authentic human being, not ashamed of what he thinks and who he is. this is a very powerful communication tool, evidenced by the fact that he used to be a hell of a salesman in his day. imagine this: in summer vacation, he would sell books in iceland, and come back with enough money to pay tuition for the whole next school year, plus even by some new stuff, occasionally even a car. and it is this authenticity, willingness to serve and typical tio ita sense of humor that describe him best until today, over 20 years later. and yes, he is still very patient – but don’t bother him when he’s on a wheel of a car; that hasn’t changed either.
this is my special thanks to graaaande tio ita for all he has done for us, specifically for me, and for being an uncle everyone would want to have in their family. he have known me all his life (tia tania too, of course), more than the rest of my family, and i know that he will continue to be very important throughout it. uncle ita, uncle of all, is first and foremost my uncle!!

crescendo

2008-11-22T03:13:00.002+01:00

up to now i have only written about people i have never seen. although i do hope to meet them someday, i am very thankful for the people i have the privilege to know.
friendship comes in different shapes, forms and colors. even more so, if it is a friendship between a boy and a girl, a man and a woman. thinking back, i’ve had some friends that were pretty important to me at the time; and i will write about these special people in the following weeks and months. but there is one person outside of any family bonds that i have known the longest.
summer of 1986. i had been in germany for a full year. 3rd grade was over, i was 8 years old. i had been in love before, believe it or not. in england, over a year earlier; but that is another story, another special person. my family, my father’s brother’s family, his sister-in-law’s sister’s family and a family friends to my father’s sister-in-law (ufa!) went to ile d’oleron, a small island in the atlantic ocean around two hours from bordeaux, france. the kids in those four families numbered ten: the three tscheuschners (mareike, tobias and benjamin), the two witzigs (marcus and sebastian), the three gonçalves (andré, me and leo) and the two pieschkas (michaela and susie). in fact, this was a special summer for me and a memorable one for all these kids, i would guess. but the most memorable thing about those three weeks was… a girl, of course. michaela was one year younger than me. and it seemed that every time we met, there was a definite sense of electricity in the air. we would do stuff together, like playing badminton or looking for stones on the beach, but we wouldn’t talk much. i’ve always been shy, and so was she. but i do remember us looking for each other’s presence, and appreciating it with a quiet feeling of bliss.
this was a strange situation for me. normally, before and after that summer, i would fall for complete strangers, girls i never even talked to. it took four full years (a lot for a young boy) for me to like a girl that i actually spoke to again. but here we were, spending some time together. quietly. with lots of smiles and timid looks.
the summer was over, and my family and me went back to northern germany. we lived in a big village (not big enough to be considered a little town) about an hour from hamburg. michi lived near ludwigsburg, in south germany, where my father’s family comes from. the 650 km distance was enough to damp the summer “affair”, but in some way, the memory was always brought back to life every time we went to visit the family in south germany. normally, the pieschkas would come over, and the kids would be reunited. and, as always in the very quiet, unofficial electricity-in-the-air manner, michi and me would feel connected. at least i felt connected to her, and i’m almost certain it went both ways.
by the time i left germany in the summer of 1993, we still weren’t friends. many things happened during my first full year in brazil, and i admit i had almost forgot about my “old non-friend” when i came back for vacation in the summer of 1994. towards the end of july, though, i was headed to ludwigsburg to visit my family, and in the car on the way to the south, i caught myself thinking of good ol’ michi. there is a big difference from being 8 years old to being 16. i was excited about seeing her again. how would it feel? how would it be?
i was a little surprised to see that it felt… good! really good. the air was still electric, i might even say more than ever. it was only a weekend, with “freibad” (public swimming pool), church and grand prix of hockenheim, but it took me by surprise. michaela had done it again, i found myself very interested in her, thinking about her.
but soon enough, the summer was over, and the distance this time was around 10,000 km. an attempt was made to create a friendship over letters (yep, no emails yet), but somehow things didn’t survive the distance at all. actually, it had changed things. next time we saw each other, in the summer of 1995, there was no electricity in the air for the first time since 1986. only a certain uneasiness. it was kind of sad.
it took another three years for me to visit germany again. my parents had now moved to brazil, and at age 20, i was now responsible for my own plane ticket… . once again, i headed back to south germany, and as it had been since i was eight, i knew that i was going to see michi. now 19 (her birthday is one day after mine), she had been dating a guy for a couple of years. of course this didn’t bother me, because i had no romantic interest in her any more. those interests had been special in the past, but short and far between. i just hoped to be able to have any kind of contact with her; she already was a truly special person to me. and, one day, the opportunity came. i was still shy at that time, but much less than in past years. nevertheless, i had to overcome some fear to approach her. first of all, you never know how things are, what the other person is thinking, if the is even thinking anything. if the history i had with her resembled in any way the history that she had with me. after all, we had never gotten to be friends, even if we had known each other for 12 years by then.
i don’t remember too much of our little talk, as i rarely do. but it is still one of the talks that are most memorable to me, i still can see her, the situation, the emotions. not romantic ones, this time, but really deep friendly ones – almost better than those old romantic ones. electricity in the air, definitely yes. talking to her that evening was very special, and i hoped that we could find a way to somehow remain friends. because, after so many years, that’s what it was seeming we were becoming – really good old friends, in a new friendship. once again, great feeling!
after that, economics (brazil’s and my own) made it impossible to visit germany for quite a while. but it was exactly at this time when michi and me became what we are today – really good and true friends, bound by a strong mutual feeling of wishing the other person well. i can now be glad to say that there is a total trust atmosphere between us, and i am just thankful that our long history has come to the place it is now. it took another three years after our talk in germany for us to really open up as friends do, it was before the summer of 2001, i was 23.
michi is a person that i was in love with when i was eight, that moved me romantically whenever i saw her until i was 16, and now has become one of my most loyal friends. she is very strong, determined, disciplined, caring, unselfish, christian. born in the former czechoslovakia, she is married for quite a few years now and still lives near ludwigsburg. i’ve had the pleasure to see her in my last visit to germany, in 2006. and i hope that i’ll see her every time i go back there. but even if i were never to see her again, i know that i have found an eternal friend in her. and she knows that i will always be there for her, too.
i’ve changed quite a lot over the years, and so has my perception of michaela pieschka. but the positive feelings i’ve always had towards her since the first time we met, they are bound to become stronger and stronger over the years; this is a friendship where time has not taken its toll. that’s why it’s obvious that michi is a very special person to me, and she will always have played a special role in my life.

close to home

2008-11-18T23:57:00.000+01:00

have you ever experienced one of those moments were you feel fully understood? when someone just captured the essence of what you think or feel about something? if you have, you will know that these moments make us feel alive, really there, just simply satisfied, sometimes accompanied by a somewhat funny looking smile on your face, impossible to swipe away. now, let’s push this idea a little further: do you know how it feels when someone says something about life, or love, or you, that you would have never been able to express but that you couldn’t agree more with, almost as if it were your idea in the first place? this feeling is even more special to me than the first one, because at that moment, someone is not only “getting” you, but creating a new dimension of something that you are, think or feel. now, last question: do you believe that this is possible without that person even knowing you?
my answer is yes. and this is the mystery of music. a language that helps define who i am in a way that words couldn’t. when it is used as truthful expression, when it sounds so true to you that you might even catch yourself thinking that you would have put it exactly the same way; this is truth without words, it goes very deep into your heart, and it tells you a lot about who you are – you just can’t put it into words. i am not saying that you can or even should judge people by the music they love; for two reasons: first of all, it’s far too personal for those who actually take music seriously and don’t see it as mere entertainment. and, secondly, what would you be able to say? the language is musical and, in my opinion, any attempt to translate it diminishes it.
around 12 years ago, i was introduced to a guitarist by the name of pat metheny by my older brother andre, who had borrowed a video tape (good ol’ days) from a good friend called saulo. pat will be mentioned later on in this blog for sure, but it was through him that i “met” the one i consider to be my very personal musical soul mate. after the metheny discovery (album “secret story”), i started buying his work, as i usually do when i “find” a musician who speaks to me. one of those first albums goes by the name of “watercolors”, a 1977 pat metheny album, with three musicians collaborating: eberhard weber (bass), from nearby stuttgart (germany, nearby because the album was recorded in ludwigsburg, where my family lives), dan gottlieb (drums) and piano player lyle mays. now, you have to know that piano has always been my favorite instrument. i play the saxophone, which is an instrument i consider quite boring if not used in a meaningful context. but i really admire anyone who has a special gift for piano, which is the richest musical instrument i can think of. and this lyle mays was special. not only because of his incredible technique, but mostly because of his musical sensibility. and once again, not because it was superior, but because it just rang true to me – as if it were my ideas, my opinions, my feelings played by someone else, someone who didn’t even know who i was – but someone definitely special to me. lyle mays solos, and in that album more specifically his interpretation in the last track, “sea song”, reached me at a very personal level. soon, i sought to by his first solo album “lyle mays”, from 1984. i found it in a small music store in rio de janeiro at the end of 1997. for some reason, i’ve always loved the “sus” harmony, it just sounds… i mean, good is not even the word, it’s just kind of me. and that album begins with four “sus” chords. do you remember that smile i was talking about earlier? it was there when i first heard the beginning of that album, and it is there every time i even think of it, even right know writing this.
only many years later would i learn some details of his life. he is, no doubt, a musical genius, never studying the piano and having developed an own, personal technique and touch. he is also somewhat of a math genius, has a family he seems very devoted to, and collaborates with his co-genial musical buddy pat metheny in a way that it makes music critics compare them to the greatest collaborators in music history. lyle mays, his music with the pat metheny group or in other projects, and specially that 1984 solo album have been with me for these last almost 12 years, in very important moments of my life, even in the darkest hours. when i listen to him, it strangely feels like i am understood; it feels like home to me. or at least “close to home”, the last track of that solo album.

number one

2008-11-18T12:49:00.000+01:00

ok. i am a math teacher after all, and probability has always been fascinating to me. what is the chance of this or that happening? what is the chance of me getting to know and meeting the exact people that i have met in my life. what are even the odds of being born into my family? well, you might say, you would have known a certain amount of people anyway, and you had to be born into some family, that’s for sure. you had to grow up somewhere, live somewhere, and there you would have to meet people, talk to them, interact with them. not that impossible, is it?
and still i wonder. 6 billion + people on the planet, I might have seen millions of them in my lifetime, noticed maybe almost a hundred thousand, talked to quite a few of them, maybe a few ten thousand. but i can’t say that too many of them have touched me in some way, impacted me, made any kind of difference. some of them are famous, even celebrities. people i’ve never seen or met, but still impacted me somehow. and some of them i’ve known all my life. when talking about them, i will be basically talking about myself, because all of these people had some say in what i have become as a person, and what i will become in future. does that sound as if i am influenced by what other people think? those who know me well will find that strange, since i do tend to be independent in my actions, not caring too much about conventional opinion. but i say that it is impossible to be without influencing others and without being influenced. you just can’t allow yourself to see others as a possible threat or even judge, but as a vital part of your life, an addition; a major addition. people want to be able to be sincere, which is actually just the freedom to be accepted, no matter what you say or do. this need to communicate and to be accepted is proof that we are all connected to each other, and that we need each other. which also means that every day, we have to choose to either help or harm others. because we will be doing one or the other, even if it seems that our actions don’t affect others. and as soon as you choose to be positive about your interactions to others, you will feel how that affects your own happiness – once again, it’s all connected.
that’s why the first person i want to mention in this blog is actually someone i have never seen, but i have often met. he is the greatest celebrity to ever walk the planet, but he still takes a personal interest in me. he has been there for me all my life, and even though i have disappointed him often enough, he has never even considered abandoning me. i owe him big time, and i will never be able to repay him. but that’s okay with him, he’s just waiting for me to love him back. he’s all about interaction and connection, about happiness comes through service, about love to be loved. and because all of this, all there is, all these unwritten rules of life are his idea in the first place, he is most definitely the number one person around. does that sound to good to be true? a personal friend, more loyal and loving than anyone you’ll ever know, being the governor and creator of the universe and everything in it? is that too far away from reality? to mathematically improbable? well, i defy you to try it out – i mean, what is there to lose? i can speak for myself: he is many things, has many nicknames, does the greatest deeds. but for me, my favorite part about my faithful friend is that he is the great connector, the one responsible for me knowing the people i know, loving and being loved by many of those, being defied and challenged by others – he knows this all too well, and he really hopes that i appreciate the opportunity he has given me – to live and to be impacted by others, and to impact them.
that’s why this little blog is an homage to him and the people he has given me; to live my life has been an extremely fascinating experience, thanks to the people i am going to mention in days to come. but let it be said that it is all thanks to the prince of peace. because i am certain that the family i was born into, the people i have met in the places i have been – it is not a mathematical coincidence, it is a gift. and i can’t do anything, i can just say: from the bottom of my heart, thank you. for every day and every moment made special by… special people.

why?

2008-11-17T16:34:00.000+01:00

this blog has one main idea: to talk about people that have been important in my life: known or unknown, close to me or people i've never spoken to, family, friends and non-friends.
i trully believe that people are the main source of joy, growth and reason to live, and this is my little homage some of them.

i have chosen to write in english because of my background (having grown up in germnay, lived in brazil for the past 13 years and teaching at an american school). i don't know if anyone will read any of this, but if they do, it should be in the most international language possible.

okay, so here we go...